Fear of Milonga

The fact is that some folks have a justifiable fear of Milonga! No not the dance party, nor the music at the milonga, no…this fear refers to the abject fear that is expressed by some people when Milonga music is played because now they must dance ‘Milonga’ moves to milonga music. The reason ? Either it’s the speed at which it is seemingly danced, or the music that is perceived to be ‘fast’, movements/steps/patterns/figures that are associated and specific to Milonga. Some people just freak right out when it comes to milonga. Some people actually break out in a cold sweat at the very thought of it, Lead or Follow. 

To be fair there are some that get all excited about.

They love it.

However have you noticed that when a milonga tanda comes that the floor clears ? And all of a sudden all those people that say that they ‘love’ milonga aren’t dancing it ? They either leave the room, or are sitting it out ?

There’s a reason for that (several actually): Fear.

Milonga is all about the non-compressive embrace, clear weight changes, and absolute collections, get that right and you’re onto something. It’s just that most people don’t, and they end up stepping all over someone’s feet, or toes, and then there’s blood everywhere, and someone looks silly and, and, and…

Mostly this is a fear from a leading perspective. From the lead’s perspective, there’s so much more going on, and so quickly. That they’re overwhelmed and rather than look silly, or (rightfully) step on someone’s toes, they’ll sit out the milonga tanda. Then there’s the inevitable judgement of getting ‘milonga’ wrong! OMG!!! (heavens!).

To be fair, there a host of other reasons why some people don’t dance but a single milonga tanda in a night … if that! One reason is that, like it or not…your idea of milonga, and someone else’s idea of milonga are exactly the same (or as is often the case, not even in the same realm). Then there’s the embrace issues, the compression issues, the milonga musical choice issues, not having an available partner that hears milonga the same way, just to name a few.

There is also the fear of milonga from the Follower’s perspective. Mostly it comes in the form of ‘please god let me get this one right…no screw ups!”. It’s there, it does happen. 

Milonga fear is very real, very palpable, and very intimidating. It can keep someone from enjoying what is otherwise a very simple form of Argentine Tango! It can keep them from studying the dance further, it can stop them really, once they have a bad experience and it just appears to get worse each time. 

Oy!

The question comes up, if all of that is true, how do you solve for ‘X’? Simple. You push through it. The fear is a perception really, it’s not real. Yes you can step on someone’s foot, but that fear is there always, less so once you have mastered proprioception. However aside from that…there is real reason for it to exist, and you really do have to break it down to its base elements, slow it down, and then work the f*ck out it. Milonga is one those places where you have to push until it gives, and eventually it does. You can achieve mastery over Milonga through perseverance, patience, time, and instruction. That last part is a given, but so many people don’t take advantage of the milonga skill set of their local teachers because they don’t want to look foolish or silly.

MORE REMINDERS

Cake!

Should you eat before, or after a milonga, or not at all ? Some people say “before, so that you don’t get hungry during the milonga”. But then they complain that they can’t move as freely. Some people say “After! Because I’ll be ravenous”. But then these same people quite factually ‘grumble’ (meaning their stomachs are growling because they’re hungry) while they dance with you. Some people are in the ‘not’ at all category! They can seemingly contain their exertion and not require sustenance before, during, and after a milonga.

Read More »

Head Tilt

The tilt or position of one’s head (for lead or follow) is far more important than you might imagine. First and foremost, where the head points the body tends to follow. There’s a reason for this, your equilibrium, contrary to popular belief your balance is not generated in the center of your belly. This ‘myth’ is better known and often repeated as to indicate your ‘core’ muscles. This is a lie.

Read More »

5 Reasons

Why does someone enter the Tango world ? What drives them to engage in Argentine Tango ? Not what makes them stay but why do they get involved with Argentine Tango ? There are commonalities to why someone walks this pathway, no pun intended. These are distilled down to about Five Common Reasons why someone enters Tango. These are the reasons why and not the reasons why someone stays in Tango. Those are very different reasons, but rather why they started dancing in the first place.

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Being Criticized

The truth is that this is critical feedback, about what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Hopefully that critical feedback or criticism is done with exacting detail, which is needed for analysis, breakdown, and then reconstruction or rebuilding your posture, walk, embrace, vocabulary, and/or musical interpretation. Without that critical feedback, you will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again thinking that everything is happy and lovely when in fact it’s not.

Read More »

Practice (part 1)

For most people the idea of practice is about practicing the dancing part. Not about the actual "practicing" part. Practice really wants to take apart what one does, how one does it, while asking for feedback & input. Then asking questions, and then figuring out where things aren’t working and why, to smooth out the rough edges of something, and then continually refine, and refine, and refine it so that it becomes effortless.

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Proprioception

According to Webster’s Dictionary the word ‘Proprioception’ comes from the latin word ‘proprius’ meaning “one’s own” or “individual”, and ‘capio’ or ‘capere’ meaning to take or to grasp. The word itself means a perception of one’s own body in space and time, as in the awareness of one’s body in space and time, as it refers to bodily position in space and time.

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Where’s The Fun ?

Believe it or not, the ‘fun’ part is everywhere. You are focused on just the outcome of the dancing part. The immediate hit that you get from dancing. But what if you found out that you’re only scratching the surface with Tango. What if you discovered that you’re missing a very important aspect that not only can change the dance from what it is today for you but for it to go far deeper than you ever imagined. What if you found out that the drive to be better is not only a requirement, but it’s the gateway to dancing with better and better partners that you only dream of dancing with but can do because you changed your perspective a bit ?

Read More »

Saying ‘No’.

So without further variance, below is a 10 step process in “How to say ‘No’, and not dance with Y!” 🙂

Read More »

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