Fear of Milonga

The fact is that some folks have a justifiable fear of Milonga! No not the dance party, nor the music at the milonga, no…this fear refers to the abject fear that is expressed by some people when Milonga music is played because now they must dance ‘Milonga’ moves to milonga music. The reason ? Either it’s the speed at which it is seemingly danced, or the music that is perceived to be ‘fast’, movements/steps/patterns/figures that are associated and specific to Milonga. Some people just freak right out when it comes to milonga. Some people actually break out in a cold sweat at the very thought of it, Lead or Follow. 

To be fair there are some that get all excited about.

They love it.

However have you noticed that when a milonga tanda comes that the floor clears ? And all of a sudden all those people that say that they ‘love’ milonga aren’t dancing it ? They either leave the room, or are sitting it out ?

There’s a reason for that (several actually): Fear.

Milonga is all about the non-compressive embrace, clear weight changes, and absolute collections, get that right and you’re onto something. It’s just that most people don’t, and they end up stepping all over someone’s feet, or toes, and then there’s blood everywhere, and someone looks silly and, and, and…

Mostly this is a fear from a leading perspective. From the lead’s perspective, there’s so much more going on, and so quickly. That they’re overwhelmed and rather than look silly, or (rightfully) step on someone’s toes, they’ll sit out the milonga tanda. Then there’s the inevitable judgement of getting ‘milonga’ wrong! OMG!!! (heavens!).

To be fair, there a host of other reasons why some people don’t dance but a single milonga tanda in a night … if that! One reason is that, like it or not…your idea of milonga, and someone else’s idea of milonga are exactly the same (or as is often the case, not even in the same realm). Then there’s the embrace issues, the compression issues, the milonga musical choice issues, not having an available partner that hears milonga the same way, just to name a few.

There is also the fear of milonga from the Follower’s perspective. Mostly it comes in the form of ‘please god let me get this one right…no screw ups!”. It’s there, it does happen. 

Milonga fear is very real, very palpable, and very intimidating. It can keep someone from enjoying what is otherwise a very simple form of Argentine Tango! It can keep them from studying the dance further, it can stop them really, once they have a bad experience and it just appears to get worse each time. 

Oy!

The question comes up, if all of that is true, how do you solve for ‘X’? Simple. You push through it. The fear is a perception really, it’s not real. Yes you can step on someone’s foot, but that fear is there always, less so once you have mastered proprioception. However aside from that…there is real reason for it to exist, and you really do have to break it down to its base elements, slow it down, and then work the f*ck out it. Milonga is one those places where you have to push until it gives, and eventually it does. You can achieve mastery over Milonga through perseverance, patience, time, and instruction. That last part is a given, but so many people don’t take advantage of the milonga skill set of their local teachers because they don’t want to look foolish or silly.

MORE REMINDERS

The Talking Cabeco/Mirada

If you’ve been dancing a little while, or for many years, at some point along the curve you’ve heard the word ‘Cabeceo’. Which roughly translates as a slight nod or nodding of the head (Cabeza) for the Lead to invite a Follower. The Follower’s side of that same invitation is referred to as a ‘Mirada’ (to look at, or ‘looked’). It’s an oddity that almost no one knows about the Follower’s side of the equation, that the Follower can ask for a tanda, employing the same methodology. It just has a slightly different name.

Read More »

Milan for Followers

A good spot for Followers to plan their next Tango vacation is: Milano. Why ? Several reasons. 1.) The men dress nicely for Milongas. No. It’s true. They actually dress up for Milongas. And as has said before in Vol 3. (Truism 1096), nothing screams ‘come hither’ more to a woman than a man in a tailored suit! And in this case, usually the shoes are handmade as well. 2.) Then there’s the fact that they smell nice.

Read More »

It’s Too Late

Frequently most dancers after they ‘learn’ something will fail to solo practice it, as well as use it at a social practica, which as a result fails to deepen their fluidity when dancing so that when X, Y, and Z is led or followed they ‘miss’ it and hesitate. Thereby creating the impression that they’re inept dancers.

Read More »

Practice (Part 8)

The question of what to practice for most dancers is really simple. The belief is that you should practice ‘dancing’. And this is not always the case. To be fair, while Tango does require a neurological adjustment on multiple levels which can only be attained from actual dancing – this is called ‘the neurology of dancing’, this is a given. However, in order to get to that place where refinements can actually occur in one’s dance, one has to practice, and that practice is not, so that we’re clear, with a partner, it is individually or solo practice.

Read More »

The Taxi Dancer Paradox

The Taxi Dancer Paradox is that hiring or being one creates an undesirable social stigma and yet at the same time is actually a very practical, if not entirely reasonable resource to have available to solve the ‘waiting’ for a dance problem.

Read More »

5 Reasons

Why does someone enter the Tango world ? What drives them to engage in Argentine Tango ? Not what makes them stay but why do they get involved with Argentine Tango ? There are commonalities to why someone walks this pathway, no pun intended. These are distilled down to about Five Common Reasons why someone enters Tango. These are the reasons why and not the reasons why someone stays in Tango. Those are very different reasons, but rather why they started dancing in the first place.

Read More »

Snobby People

The fact is that there are snobby people everywhere. There are always going to be the ‘holier than thou’ among your local group, and really anywhere you travel. The fact is that you can’t get around them, you have to deal with them, and there is a way to do that. Ok, truthfully you could avoid them all night long if you wanted to but that doesn’t help you very much.

Read More »

10 REASONS TO SUBSCRIBE

There are 4 Levels of Access: Free, Basic, Premium, and Premium+. Free pays nothing but gets a perk just for signing up. 

1.) Free Users get to see 5 of the 125 Different Tango Topics on the site. Plus you get access to the entire Tango Reminders and Tango Ideas sections of the site. These are short form Topic descriptors with a little detail about the topic and the video.

2.) 
Basic and Premium users Save A BOATLOAD of MONEY! Buying this stuff outright is expensive.

3.) Basic, Premium, and Premium+ users get access to the ALL ARTICLES and THE FULL ARTICLE which you can’t see right now.

4.) Basic, Premium, and Premium+ users have way better video resolution: Free = 420p, Basic = 720p, Premium = 1080p and 4K. 

5.) Basic, Premium, and Premium+ users get the ‘Dancing Perspectives’ & ‘The Soup’ sections of the document you just read (Lead, Follow, and Dancing) which are open to you. And that’s where all the good stuff is at. 

6.) Video Downloads! 

7.) Access to the Tango Topics Music Library (22 Curated Golden Age Orchestras)

8.) Access to ‘Tango Del Dia’ – Our Music Education System with access to 14 Days of Music, 30 Days of Music Education, and 30 More Days of Tango Del Dia. 

9.) We explain things, break the vocabulary down in a visual way, from multiple angles, showing feet, hands, and close ups! Yes there’s a lot of talking but we want you to understand what it is that you’re doing and why, not just steps, patterns, and figure

and #10:
No more annoying ads at the bottom of the page, begging you to subscribe! 

Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancingWhereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

DROP ME MSG HERE