Fear of Milonga

The fact is that some folks have a justifiable fear of Milonga! No not the dance party, nor the music at the milonga, no…this fear refers to the abject fear that is expressed by some people when Milonga music is played because now they must dance ‘Milonga’ moves to milonga music. The reason ? Either it’s the speed at which it is seemingly danced, or the music that is perceived to be ‘fast’, movements/steps/patterns/figures that are associated and specific to Milonga. Some people just freak right out when it comes to milonga. Some people actually break out in a cold sweat at the very thought of it, Lead or Follow. 

To be fair there are some that get all excited about.

They love it.

However have you noticed that when a milonga tanda comes that the floor clears ? And all of a sudden all those people that say that they ‘love’ milonga aren’t dancing it ? They either leave the room, or are sitting it out ?

There’s a reason for that (several actually): Fear.

Milonga is all about the non-compressive embrace, clear weight changes, and absolute collections, get that right and you’re onto something. It’s just that most people don’t, and they end up stepping all over someone’s feet, or toes, and then there’s blood everywhere, and someone looks silly and, and, and…

Mostly this is a fear from a leading perspective. From the lead’s perspective, there’s so much more going on, and so quickly. That they’re overwhelmed and rather than look silly, or (rightfully) step on someone’s toes, they’ll sit out the milonga tanda. Then there’s the inevitable judgement of getting ‘milonga’ wrong! OMG!!! (heavens!).

To be fair, there a host of other reasons why some people don’t dance but a single milonga tanda in a night … if that! One reason is that, like it or not…your idea of milonga, and someone else’s idea of milonga are exactly the same (or as is often the case, not even in the same realm). Then there’s the embrace issues, the compression issues, the milonga musical choice issues, not having an available partner that hears milonga the same way, just to name a few.

There is also the fear of milonga from the Follower’s perspective. Mostly it comes in the form of ‘please god let me get this one right…no screw ups!”. It’s there, it does happen. 

Milonga fear is very real, very palpable, and very intimidating. It can keep someone from enjoying what is otherwise a very simple form of Argentine Tango! It can keep them from studying the dance further, it can stop them really, once they have a bad experience and it just appears to get worse each time. 

Oy!

The question comes up, if all of that is true, how do you solve for ‘X’? Simple. You push through it. The fear is a perception really, it’s not real. Yes you can step on someone’s foot, but that fear is there always, less so once you have mastered proprioception. However aside from that…there is real reason for it to exist, and you really do have to break it down to its base elements, slow it down, and then work the f*ck out it. Milonga is one those places where you have to push until it gives, and eventually it does. You can achieve mastery over Milonga through perseverance, patience, time, and instruction. That last part is a given, but so many people don’t take advantage of the milonga skill set of their local teachers because they don’t want to look foolish or silly.

MORE REMINDERS

The Tango Haus

What’s below is a small snippet of 13m:06s audio podcast of Today’s Topic on the benefits and detractors of building community using the idea of a Tango House. “What I refer to as the Tango ‘Haus’ idea. In this case this is the German spelling of ‘HAUS’. I just like the way it sounds. But we can use the American spelling of ‘House’. So a few years back and I may be bastardizing some history here. There was a tango house, and I’m not going to name the city, that grew up out of a U.S. based city. This community, at the time had a number of teachers in its area, and they were all using the typical model of how they wanted their students to learn to dance.

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The Talking Cabeco/Mirada

If you’ve been dancing a little while, or for many years, at some point along the curve you’ve heard the word ‘Cabeceo’. Which roughly translates as a slight nod or nodding of the head (Cabeza) for the Lead to invite a Follower. The Follower’s side of that same invitation is referred to as a ‘Mirada’ (to look at, or ‘looked’). It’s an oddity that almost no one knows about the Follower’s side of the equation, that the Follower can ask for a tanda, employing the same methodology. It just has a slightly different name.

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Compression

Compression’ means that you’re either pulling your partner into you and/or at the same time restricting their movements in a myriad of ways (hand, arm, head). As a Lead this typically manifests itself with your right forearm. As a Follower compression is typically done with your left forearm around your lead’s shoulder (tsk, tsk, tsk, it should not be there).  

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The Bloody Toe

The fact is that while open toed shoes can be lovely to look at, they have a practical downside that no one likes to talk about – one wrong move and you’re lookin’ at a serious injury!

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Watching The Feet

Put simply – If you can see your partner’s feet while dancing with them…there’s a problem. The problem ? Well actually there are several that you’re completely unaware of, below are just a few of them….

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The ‘Passion’ Lie

“The Passion of Tango” or “Tango is a Passionate Dance”. You have heard these statements repeated over and over again, from so many people, teachers, dancers, and teacher/performers that it’s almost like second nature at this point. These statements and others like them promote an idea or a series of ideas about Argentine Tango that get people into the dance, and ultimately to stay with the dance.

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Architecture

Architecture. There are certain things we want to do with our bodies in relation to Argentine Tango and Social Dancing, one of them is to ‘close our fingers’ or bring our fingers together in every possible place where we lay our hands on our partners or they come into contact with our partner’s bodies.

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Rejection

What follows relates to the verbal ask for a dance and the rejection, this thought does not talk about the reject from a failed cabeceo or mirada. Let’s lay out some facts before we get to the heart of this stuff. Fact: The ask, no matter how ‘sly’ you think you’re being, is going to be awkward.

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Tango Frustration

Contrary to what you may have heard, the reality of Tango for some people is, as a Lead as well as a Follow, is not all happy and lovely. The fact is that some of those dancers go to the Milonga knowing that they are going to sit, a lot. And that sitting leads a winding path through a host of emotions that ultimately lands them on the door step of Tango Frustration.

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