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Receiving Feedback

see > ‘giving and receiving feedback‘

Receiving Feedback is as insanely important as giving it.

Here’s how you do it.

Ready ?

SHUT UP.
STOP TALKING.
LISTEN. 

Let the other person speak, and/or demonstrate what’s going on for them. Do not interrupt. Do not engage in defending your position. Don’t get defensive. Do not let your ego get in the way of hearing what you need to hear right now. One of the best things that you can do for you, and the people that you dance with is be humble, gracious, kind, clear, and most of all be quiet when receiving feedback.

To be clear, listening is a highly undervalued skill in today’s world, we want to talk so that we can confirm that we’re on the right page and to seem like, as if, we’re knowledgeable. You do not want to do this. Instead use your ears, use your eyes, be silent, and listen. 

At the same time, it wouldn’t kill your ego to ask for feedback now and again. And while most Followers do this, not enough Leads engage in this practice.

Engage in the active practice of asking for feedback, and then…here’s the hard part – RECEIVE it!

MORE REMINDERS

The Neurology of Leading – Part 2

September 17, 2017 No Comments

A question that comes up for some leads, not all leads, but some Leads (big ‘L’) is why is it important that you spend a lot of time listening to Tango music, and more importantly to mark the music ? Typically you’ll hear this question as “I have a life you know ? I have things to do. I can’t sit around all day long just listening to song after song after song for days, weeks, months, marking up every song in some crazy 8 count beat sort of way, and then try to memorize all that all so….

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The Importance of Two Millimeters

June 17, 2017 No Comments

Contrary to what you might believe or think, distance, space, and rightfully precision absolutely matters when it comes to Argentine Tango. Let’s back up a bit and define a few things before we delve too deeply into today’s Tango Thought. Precision as defined by Webster’s Dictionary (2017) is a noun as derived from the English word ‘precise’ which is itself an adjective meaning “definitely or strictly stated, defined, or fixed”. Clear ? Not. In short, ‘Precision’ means that there is an area of exactitude, and/accuracy, finite accuracy, finely tuned acute and tight accuracy. And that just about sums up what has to happen with regards to Argentine Tango.

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Tango Accents

January 20, 2017 No Comments

You may not realize this but you have an accent. The place that you live in, the people that you dance with, the teachers that you have studied with, and last but not least, the variation of those ideas from the original, creates a local tango ‘accent’. Every city where Tango is danced has an accent which is specific to that place and to that place alone. Boston, San Francisco, Paris, London, Berlin, Moscow, etc. They all have one, up to and including Buenos Aires, especially Buenos Aires! The difference between your local flavor of Tango and say Boston, Paris, and London, is like night and day within a spectrum of ideas.

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Couples

February 24, 2017 No Comments

Couples, as a pair, develop their own shorthand for communicating with each other. They remark on events in their time together as ‘that time we did that thing when that thing happened, remember ?’. They invest their emotional time in each other as caring, loving (hopefully), partners that genuinely are invested in each other’s successes (hopefully). In one respect they are to each other intimates, while at the same time they see each other as support mechanisms, and so much more.

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Musicality Vs. Interpretation

February 28, 2017 No Comments

Welcome to the Department of the Obvious Department. Today’s menu of the Obvious includes: Men not asking for directions when lost, Men over talking Women, Men squeezing the living daylights out of their partners, and last but not least the Age of a Man has nothing to do with his ability to get dances!

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The ‘High Season’ in Buenos Aires

February 14, 2019 No Comments

What is the "High Season" in Buenos Aires ? It’s the period of time between December 15th and March 15th when several things happen all at once. 1.) It’s INSANELY HOT. It should be noted that sometimes this is called the ‘hot’ season. 2.) The traveling teachers return home to practice, and to build new routines. 3.) There’s a lot of tango touristas (you). 4.) There’s a lot of seminarios that happen. 5.) Did we mention there’s a lot of people ?

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The Non-Gender Cabeceo

November 10, 2017 No Comments

What is a ’Non-Gender Cabeceo’ ? A Non-Gender Cabeceo works exactly the same way that a Gendered Cabeceo works. There’s nothing special or different about it. The practice is exactly the same regardless of Gender, or at least it should be. If same sex dancing, or role fluidity, is permitted at Milongas, Marathons, and Encuentros, then the same rules apply in a Gendered Cabeceo.

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Discipline

October 24, 2016 No Comments

Ballet dancers know all too well that a good dance teacher is strict, hard as a nails, and won’t let you get away with anything. While it may be hard on the body, and hard on the ego, the fact is that dance teachers like that are a godsend. However, the teacher is only one component to the educational process.

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Perfectionism

March 19, 2017 No Comments

There are those of us that separate being ‘good’ as being good enough, and anything beyond that is just ‘unnecessary’. It’s really about getting around the floor, and if no one complains about the embrace, or you don’t hit anything, or anyone, and you can throw in that cool move now and again, so much the better!

Read More »

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1.) Free Users get to see 5 of the 125 Different Tango Topics on the site. Plus you get access to the entire Tango Reminders and Tango Ideas sections of the site. These are short form Topic descriptors with a little detail about the topic and the video.

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5.) Basic, Premium, and Premium+ users get the ‘Dancing Perspectives’ & ‘The Soup’ sections of the document you just read (Lead, Follow, and Dancing) which are open to you. And that’s where all the good stuff is at. 

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancing! Whereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

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