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Receiving Feedback

see > ‘giving and receiving feedback‘

Receiving Feedback is as insanely important as giving it.

Here’s how you do it.

Ready ?

SHUT UP.
STOP TALKING.
LISTEN. 

Let the other person speak, and/or demonstrate what’s going on for them. Do not interrupt. Do not engage in defending your position. Don’t get defensive. Do not let your ego get in the way of hearing what you need to hear right now. One of the best things that you can do for you, and the people that you dance with is be humble, gracious, kind, clear, and most of all be quiet when receiving feedback.

To be clear, listening is a highly undervalued skill in today’s world, we want to talk so that we can confirm that we’re on the right page and to seem like, as if, we’re knowledgeable. You do not want to do this. Instead use your ears, use your eyes, be silent, and listen. 

At the same time, it wouldn’t kill your ego to ask for feedback now and again. And while most Followers do this, not enough Leads engage in this practice.

Engage in the active practice of asking for feedback, and then…here’s the hard part – RECEIVE it!

MORE REMINDERS

Age (Women)

January 15, 2017 No Comments

The fact is that the younger and prettier you are, the more physically attractive you are, the more likely you are to get dances. That’s fact. I mean we’re dealing with ‘men’ here so … well do the math! However just because said younger and prettier girl gets the dance does not necessarily mean that said Follower will keep it. A good number of better leads, will actually over look said younger and prettier girl because they know that said Follower can barely walk, turn, embrace, or for that matter breathe properly. That is, unfortunately, only about 10-20% of the available L/leads in the room.

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The Follower’s Molinete

November 25, 2016 No Comments

Typically referred to as ‘The Molinete’. This is the ubiquitous turn that everyone uses, even though there are 7 more that are equally as useful, it has the default turn for most dancers. The part that you should pay attention to is the second word in that phrase, ‘Follower’. This is Follower specific vocabulary. There is a Lead component to it, which is called a ‘Giro’ (translated from Spanish to English it means “I turn”) , but this is really all about the Follower.

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The Male Follower

June 26, 2017 No Comments

This post isn’t about the benefits of Following for the Male that dances, of which there are many, such as hyper awareness of all the things you do not want to do. No. Nor is this post about dancing in heels (which can be quite educational on many, many levels), nor the benefits of actually doing that work. Nor is this post about the simple fact that some men do enjoy Following quite a bit (the author included) and are actually (contrary to what you might believe) pretty good at it. No. Today’s Tango Thought is all about Men That WANT to Follow and some pointers that you want to think about doing.

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The Same People

January 26, 2017 No Comments

You have local friends that you have acquired through the dance. They met you at a very specific point in your tango development. You’ve danced with them over and over again. You almost never say ‘no’ to them because they’re fun to dance with or they’re nice people. Over time you settle into a nice, almost comfortable routine of your dancing friends, where you’ll go to the practica or milonga,

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Moscow For Leads

February 5, 2017 No Comments

There’s a row of women sitting in Moscow (usually several rows deep actually). Only these rows…are every Lead’s fantasy! Yup. Truth. Let’s get something straight. The food is awful. It’s usually effing cold anytime after september and before june. Getting in an out of Moscow (Russia) isn’t exactly a piece of cake (for an American), there are hoops to jump through (read that as VISA issues). It is not exactly cheap. And there is rampant crime in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.

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The Bloody Toe

March 6, 2017 No Comments

The fact is that while open toed shoes can be lovely to look at, they have a practical downside that no one likes to talk about – one wrong move and you’re lookin’ at a serious injury!

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Proprioception

February 20, 2017 No Comments

According to Webster’s Dictionary the word ‘Proprioception’ comes from the latin word ‘proprius’ meaning “one’s own” or “individual”, and ‘capio’ or ‘capere’ meaning to take or to grasp. The word itself means a perception of one’s own body in space and time, as in the awareness of one’s body in space and time, as it refers to bodily position in space and time.

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Saying ‘No’.

April 6, 2017 No Comments

So without further variance, below is a 10 step process in “How to say ‘No’, and not dance with Y!” 🙂

Read More »

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancing! Whereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

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