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Receiving Feedback

see > ‘giving and receiving feedback‘

Receiving Feedback is as insanely important as giving it.

Here’s how you do it.

Ready ?

SHUT UP.
STOP TALKING.
LISTEN. 

Let the other person speak, and/or demonstrate what’s going on for them. Do not interrupt. Do not engage in defending your position. Don’t get defensive. Do not let your ego get in the way of hearing what you need to hear right now. One of the best things that you can do for you, and the people that you dance with is be humble, gracious, kind, clear, and most of all be quiet when receiving feedback.

To be clear, listening is a highly undervalued skill in today’s world, we want to talk so that we can confirm that we’re on the right page and to seem like, as if, we’re knowledgeable. You do not want to do this. Instead use your ears, use your eyes, be silent, and listen. 

At the same time, it wouldn’t kill your ego to ask for feedback now and again. And while most Followers do this, not enough Leads engage in this practice.

Engage in the active practice of asking for feedback, and then…here’s the hard part – RECEIVE it!

MORE REMINDERS

The Talking Cabeco/Mirada

January 30, 2017 No Comments

If you’ve been dancing a little while, or for many years, at some point along the curve you’ve heard the word ‘Cabeceo’. Which roughly translates as a slight nod or nodding of the head (Cabeza) for the Lead to invite a Follower. The Follower’s side of that same invitation is referred to as a ‘Mirada’ (to look at, or ‘looked’). It’s an oddity that almost no one knows about the Follower’s side of the equation, that the Follower can ask for a tanda, employing the same methodology. It just has a slightly different name.

Read More »

The Unseen

November 5, 2016 No Comments

There is an unspoken, unwritten rule with regards to Argentine Tango. Actually there are a few of them. However, one of them is that once you are acknowledged you are now persona grata. However, if you are NOT acknowledged….then you are Persona Non-Grata. You don’t exist. They don’t see you. And the more that you stand in front of them, the less that they’ll see you. You are the ‘Unseen’.

Read More »

Physiological Control

January 31, 2017 No Comments

Control is a really hard thing to get. It takes a while to have precise, or precision, control over exact foot placement, which is insanely important. It takes time to build up the necessary minute control that one needs to have over one’s body. A millimeter here, a millimeter there, cumulatively, can make all the difference between a dance that sucks (for both parties) and one that is absolutely fabulous. Precision control is where all the toys are at.

Read More »

Discipline

October 24, 2016 No Comments

Ballet dancers know all too well that a good dance teacher is strict, hard as a nails, and won’t let you get away with anything. While it may be hard on the body, and hard on the ego, the fact is that dance teachers like that are a godsend. However, the teacher is only one component to the educational process.

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The Seasoned Dancer

April 8, 2017 No Comments

The dancer who has been dancing for a certain amount of time has passed through the multiple, multiple flirtations. They’ve had the flirtations that lead to attractions, and then the attractions that turn into dalliances, and some that go beyond that.

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More Classes

March 11, 2017 No Comments

At some point along the curve of your tango life, continuing to take classes seems like a really stupid idea. You’ve learned everything you need to know to get around the floor. Practice isn’t really that important any longer. And going to Milongas is really the important part, so who needs to practice ?

Read More »

Getting Into The Encuentro

November 3, 2018 No Comments

This is a FIVE step process, that you will want to follow religiously, which does not necessarily depend on where you live. If you’re an American dancer and want to break into the scene in Europe, then this is a post for you. If you’re already living in Europe then you have a slightly different pathway, but the suggestions are exactly the same.

Read More »

Cake!

February 19, 2017 No Comments

Should you eat before, or after a milonga, or not at all ? Some people say “before, so that you don’t get hungry during the milonga”. But then they complain that they can’t move as freely. Some people say “After! Because I’ll be ravenous”. But then these same people quite factually ‘grumble’ (meaning their stomachs are growling because they’re hungry) while they dance with you. Some people are in the ‘not’ at all category! They can seemingly contain their exertion and not require sustenance before, during, and after a milonga.

Read More »

La Cumparsita

October 8, 2017 No Comments

At the end of nearly every Milonga in the world, that you will ever attend, while you will hear more than a few familiar songs, there are a handful that have very specific meanings. One of them is played at the end of the night to signify that the Milonga has come to end, which should be a cue to find your favorite partner and to dance with them. The song ? “La Cumparsita” or as it is translated into English, ‘The Little Carnival’.

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Tango Frustration

May 20, 2017 No Comments

Contrary to what you may have heard, the reality of Tango for some people is, as a Lead as well as a Follow, is not all happy and lovely. The fact is that some of those dancers go to the Milonga knowing that they are going to sit, a lot. And that sitting leads a winding path through a host of emotions that ultimately lands them on the door step of Tango Frustration.

Read More »

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancing! Whereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

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