Where’s The Fun ?

If you’ve been dancing for a while, you may recognize a tendency in yourself or others, a drive to be better dancers. The drive, seemingly in your opinion, detracts from the ‘fun’ that you’re having. And each and every time you go deeper with the dance, it just ruins everything. The study part makes it difficult to find the ‘fun’ again. Classes just confuse and don’t really do much for you. Workshops are about the same. And private lessons just make you all tense and focused on being a perfectionist. Or so you believe. Then not to mention, there’s (if you’re a Follower) a good deal of sitting or (if you’re a Lead) not getting the dances from people you want to dance with.  At some point you ask “where’s the fun in that ?”.

That’s a really great question!

Believe it or not, the ‘fun’ part is everywhere. You are focused on just the outcome of the dancing part. The immediate hit that you get from dancing. But what if you found out that you’re only scratching the surface with Tango. What if you discovered that you’re missing a very important aspect that can not only change the dance from what it is today for you but for it to go far deeper than you ever imagined. What if you found out that the drive to be ‘better’ is not only a requirement, but is the gateway to dancing with better and better partners that you only dreamt of dancing with if you only changed your perspection a bit ?

Tango is not a ‘plug and play’ dance where you can just learn a few steps/patterns/figures in a 5 minute lesson and then you have 10 second mastery over and now you instantly know ‘tango’. No. Tango requires study (learning the ‘how to’) in order to engage in the ‘fun’ part that you want. Without that study part, you’re going to end up an unhappy person for a variety of reasons. The reality is that Tango takes time to develop, patience to persist, and lots of study time to get to the ‘fun’ you seek. To be clear: ‘Time’ is longer than a few years. In today’s world, longer than a few minutes is hard to imagine, and this page is stating ‘years’, wtf ?. Yes, YEARS! ‘Patience’ is an absolute requirement, you’re going to try, you’re going to fail (a lot), you’re going to screw up, you’re going to look foolish, you’re going to succeed in bits, pieces, fits and starts, and then fail again. Over and over and over, if you’re lucky. There is no ‘done’ in tango. And lastly ‘Study’ means musical, historical, technique, again, and again, and again. The reason for the repetition is to immerse yourself in the movements, customs, music of the environment that you’re in.

Think of Tango as if it were a language. When you first start out with a new language, you can barely understand what’s being said, let alone read the text of the new language. It’s all gobbly-gook to you. And like any language it takes time, patience, and lots of practice before you can speak that language to the point where you can express yourself. Tango is no different in this respect. You must learn the language before you can speak it, think in it, and dream in it.

Extending the metaphor a bit, like any language Tango, has a very specific vocabulary consisting of 3 parts: 1.) Nouns, verbs, adjectives, and phrases. e.g. embrace, posture, walking, ochos, turns, crosses etc. 2.) Sentences and sentence structure. Think of this as putting those nouns/verbs etc into cohesive simple sentences and then complex sentences. Or from a Tango perspective walking, ochos, turns, crosses in time to the beat, pauses, and musical phrases within the a structure. And lastly 3.) Speaking. You must speak the language, use it frequently, so that it becomes 2nd nature to you. Or from a Tango perspective you must dance frequently, as often as possible under many, many conditions.

These 3 parts are all skill building, and it’s also part of the ‘fun’ process. It’s not just about the destination, but the journey of how you got there.

At the same time, it should be noted that when you’re learning a new language, you need to be corrected when you say or write something that is incorrect. This is especially true as you become more and more facile with the language. You’re going to make mistakes, that’s a given, but unless someone comes along and corrects you, constantly keeping after you to change how you say something, how you use a phrase, then you’ll stay in this state of bumbling and fumbling with the language. This same thing happens with Tango. There’s a lot of fumbling and bumbling going on even though there is the perception of fluency. It’s an in-between stage that a lot of people (about 80%) never get beyond with Tango. The hard part is that the more time you spend in this state, the more entrenched you become in the belief that you’re doing well, when in fact that’s not the case at all (body contortion, instability, embrace issues, poor vocabulary execution, hanging, pulling, pushing, resistance, tension, force). You need constant correction to reach a state of fluency and facility with Tango. This is not achieved overnight. It takes years and years to get there, and those corrections must happen frequently. You are learning a new way of moving, and even though you think you’ve got it. You don’t. Patience, time, practice, and persistence. 🙂

Just as a side note it should be pointed out that there are those that end up speaking with an accent of the language. That accent when used with a native speaker makes the language sound almost unintelligible. Using English as an example: A deep Southern Accent of American English, an Irish, Indian, or any of the multiple English accents, or Scottish accent of English, when spoken to a native English speaker confuses them a bit, and they have to listen harder to focus on the words. Imagine a non-native speaker listening to that ? Tango has it’s accents, in the embrace, in the walk, in how to hear the music. Sometimes these are best classified as ‘styles’, and those ‘styles’ are variations on a theme that can and do create areas where the dancing partner has to stop for a moment and wonder WTF was that ? Was that an ocho ?

To be clear: 90% of people, stop their education once they reach a very specific point. This point, which is callously described as ‘just getting good enough to get around the room so that you don’t embarrass yourself’. Once this point of proficiency is reached people stop developing. This is ‘good enough’. Anything beyond this is as seen as seeking perfection, or being egotistical, or arrogant. Yet it is precisely that perfection seeking, to be better, that can create a much better dancer, so that in turn you end up being a better partner for other people to dance with, and thereby creating a much better dancing experience, and more ‘fun’.

This is about building a skill to the point of fluency. You want to be able to speak the language of Tango fluently, easily, with precision, grace, and without effort, with anyone, anywhere, at any time. 🙂 And that means study, practice, study some more, lots more practice, patience, repeat. So that in the end, you can speak with anyone! That’s where the fun part is.

Transcendence ? For most people when they hear or read the word ‘Trancendence” they immediately think “other worldly”. And while there is a air of truth to this, when it comes to Tango you’re not going to transported to another world. No. You’re going to say right here on Terra Firma. However the sensation will be one of “OMFG!”. And part of the reason why it’s “OMFG” is due to the fact that the practicioner is engaging in a state of creation joy, or to put it simply “fun”. Unfortunately in order to get to that state, it requires work, hard work, of the practicioner. Any deviation from their practiced skills, any variation from their ability to execute X, Y, or Z can and will result in losing the state of trancendence that is sought, or the creation joy sensation that they’re chasing. So it is an absolute requirement that you actually study, practice, work, and get to a point of “better” (which is in and of itself a moving target).  The end result ? Better equals “Fun” just fun of a different kind that can quite honestly blow the doors off any drug or mood alterating substance you’ve ever taken. Which is to say that all that work you’ve been doing, has a pay off….transcendence. But in order to get there, there’s a lot of hard, and laborious work which starts with cleaning up your foundation, it means no hanging, no pulling, no compression, no force, no resistence, no wobbling, no wavering, no instabilities – anywhere, it means a walk that is clean and unmarred. It means no talking, no yapping while you’re dancing (which isn’t dancing, it’s talking). It means no teaching someone to dance while you’re dancing with them (which is teaching and not dancing). It means no posturing for better and better partners (that’s called being an ass by the way). And it also means engaging in the prospect of “Entrega“! And if you don’t know what that word means. Look it up in the Tango Topics dictionary…right here!

MORE REMINDERS

Good/Bad & Dancer/Teacher

At the beginning of our Tango lives, most people go to a Tango Class to learn how to dance Tango. Some people throw caution to the wind and just go to the Milonga and ‘learn’ on the dance floor sometimes with positive but most of the time with disastrous results. And some people take the route of skipping group classes all together and start with one-on-one sessions to begin their Tango journey.

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Lethargy (Moving Too Slow)

Lethargy is moving too slow for the intended lead’s request (‘lead’ is the action, and not the person). What this really boils down to is the reaction time of the dancer that is a.) a lag from the time at which a request was sent to the time it was received. and b.) way in which it is done (the real speed issue). Note what’s missing from this definition, the roles of the dance! There is no blame in this definition. None what so ever. However, that is seemingly about to change. It’s not, but your perception of it will until you get to the end.

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The Neurology of Leading – Part 2

A question that comes up for some leads, not all leads, but some Leads (big ‘L’) is why is it important that you spend a lot of time listening to Tango music, and more importantly to mark the music ? Typically you’ll hear this question as “I have a life you know ? I have things to do. I can’t sit around all day long just listening to song after song after song for days, weeks, months, marking up every song in some crazy 8 count beat sort of way, and then try to memorize all that all so….

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Couples

Couples, as a pair, develop their own shorthand for communicating with each other. They remark on events in their time together as ‘that time we did that thing when that thing happened, remember ?’. They invest their emotional time in each other as caring, loving (hopefully), partners that genuinely are invested in each other’s successes (hopefully). In one respect they are to each other intimates, while at the same time they see each other as support mechanisms, and so much more.

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Milan for Followers

A good spot for Followers to plan their next Tango vacation is: Milano. Why ? Several reasons. 1.) The men dress nicely for Milongas. No. It’s true. They actually dress up for Milongas. And as has said before in Vol 3. (Truism 1096), nothing screams ‘come hither’ more to a woman than a man in a tailored suit! And in this case, usually the shoes are handmade as well. 2.) Then there’s the fact that they smell nice.

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Architecture

Architecture. There are certain things we want to do with our bodies in relation to Argentine Tango and Social Dancing, one of them is to ‘close our fingers’ or bring our fingers together in every possible place where we lay our hands on our partners or they come into contact with our partner’s bodies.

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The Talking Cabeco/Mirada

If you’ve been dancing a little while, or for many years, at some point along the curve you’ve heard the word ‘Cabeceo’. Which roughly translates as a slight nod or nodding of the head (Cabeza) for the Lead to invite a Follower. The Follower’s side of that same invitation is referred to as a ‘Mirada’ (to look at, or ‘looked’). It’s an oddity that almost no one knows about the Follower’s side of the equation, that the Follower can ask for a tanda, employing the same methodology. It just has a slightly different name.

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The Male Follower

This post isn’t about the benefits of Following for the Male that dances, of which there are many, such as hyper awareness of all the things you do not want to do. No. Nor is this post about dancing in heels (which can be quite educational on many, many levels), nor the benefits of actually doing that work. Nor is this post about the simple fact that some men do enjoy Following quite a bit (the author included) and are actually (contrary to what you might believe) pretty good at it. No. Today’s Tango Thought is all about Men That WANT to Follow and some pointers that you want to think about doing.

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancingWhereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

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