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Giving Feedback

see > ‘giving and receiving feedback‘

This is probably one the most important things in Argentine Tango that you can do for yourself and the people that you dance with. Giving constructive, clear, concise, clean, direct, and most of all, honest feedback. It is what is required. While feedback is subjective, it is not personal, it’s what is going on for you in the construct of the dance, the walk, the embrace, and how someone moves in relation to you.

The Trick ? Is to be honest with the people that you dance with, and the more honest you are, while it may be painful to say or painful to hear, assuming that feedback is of a ‘hard’ nature, it can be one of the better things you can do for someone, and yourself. Failure to do anything else is wasting their time and yours!

To be fair, some people don’t want to hear feedback. They like what they’re doing. And they either believe how they dance, their embrace, their walk, their choice of vocabulary (over and over and over again), their execution of said vocabulary (too slow, too much, too sloppy), their interpretation of the music is just fine, or they’re ignorant of what they’re doing, or because no one has ‘complained’ that everything is just fine. From their perspective they just want to ‘dance’, and feedback is pointless. These same people hear feedback, and really any feedback, as negative. Or they attribute the feedback to the person that’s giving it as being a perfectionist. These people are not ready to hear feedback. So giving them feedback is a complete waste of your time, effort, and energy. 

Start with a simple question “Would you like some feedback ?”. If the answer is “Yes”, then proceed with three ‘i’ statements, and only three. Do not go beyond this. Most people can only hear at most three, and that’s pushing it. ‘I’ statements are “I think…”, “I feel…”, “I see…”, “I hear…”, “I am experiencing …”, etc. “I feel pressure from your hand”, “I see that you stepping away from me”, “I hear the beat in the music as ….”, etc. Capice ?

MORE REMINDERS

The Talking Cabeco/Mirada

January 30, 2017 No Comments

If you’ve been dancing a little while, or for many years, at some point along the curve you’ve heard the word ‘Cabeceo’. Which roughly translates as a slight nod or nodding of the head (Cabeza) for the Lead to invite a Follower. The Follower’s side of that same invitation is referred to as a ‘Mirada’ (to look at, or ‘looked’). It’s an oddity that almost no one knows about the Follower’s side of the equation, that the Follower can ask for a tanda, employing the same methodology. It just has a slightly different name.

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Dancing In Berlin

February 21, 2017 No Comments

Berlin is known for many reasons around the world, it’s culture, it’s Berlin accent of German, it’s fact as a post-cold war city, and most recently the financial capital of Europe. Tango was certainly not on that list. If however, you happen to be a Tango dancer, and at a very specific place in your dance, then you have heard Yoda-like whispers of “Berlin…you should go to Berlin…”. There’s a reason for those whispers, which has turned into ‘talk’. It’s because there is a reason for all the ‘fuss’ over Tango in Berlin.

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The Non-Gender Cabeceo

November 10, 2017 No Comments

What is a ’Non-Gender Cabeceo’ ? A Non-Gender Cabeceo works exactly the same way that a Gendered Cabeceo works. There’s nothing special or different about it. The practice is exactly the same regardless of Gender, or at least it should be. If same sex dancing, or role fluidity, is permitted at Milongas, Marathons, and Encuentros, then the same rules apply in a Gendered Cabeceo.

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The Same People

January 26, 2017 No Comments

You have local friends that you have acquired through the dance. They met you at a very specific point in your tango development. You’ve danced with them over and over again. You almost never say ‘no’ to them because they’re fun to dance with or they’re nice people. Over time you settle into a nice, almost comfortable routine of your dancing friends, where you’ll go to the practica or milonga,

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Age (Women)

January 15, 2017 No Comments

The fact is that the younger and prettier you are, the more physically attractive you are, the more likely you are to get dances. That’s fact. I mean we’re dealing with ‘men’ here so … well do the math! However just because said younger and prettier girl gets the dance does not necessarily mean that said Follower will keep it. A good number of better leads, will actually over look said younger and prettier girl because they know that said Follower can barely walk, turn, embrace, or for that matter breathe properly. That is, unfortunately, only about 10-20% of the available L/leads in the room.

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Follower Bashing

January 24, 2017 No Comments

All too often a good portion of Followers get the short end of the stick as it were. They’re blamed for missing this or that, not having enough resistance (a major no-no), not pushing, not leaning enough (false apilodo another major no-no), not stepping in the right place, not keeping up with the lead, etc. They’re blamed for a host of things from walking, to musical interpretation. After a while they develop a complex of just taking responsibility for almost everything that happens that isn’t desirable in the dance, instead of the Lead taking rightful responsibility for what’s been led! This is known as ‘Bashing The Follower’.

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Learning Castellano

April 28, 2017 No Comments

Learning to speak and write in Spanish can be lots of fun. Doing so can really force you to understand that your own language is really wacky, that it is fully of colloquial phrases that when translated is a literal mess of confusion, and furthermore forces you to really start looking at your own culture and choices. However when it comes to Argentine Tango, and ultimately going to Buenos Aires, the question comes up … “Do you really need to learn to speak Spanish ?”

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