The Blame Game

The dance starts out on an even footing. It’s quite clear two steps later that one of you is clearly better than the other. Usually the Lead believes that they’re all that, and the Follower is just trying to survive the compressive embrace, let alone actually dance. In reality…well let’s just say that no one is perfect and leave it at that, shall we ?

The fact is that regardless of which role we dance we have a tendency towards blaming our partners for our foibles. We don’t like to admit that we screw up in life, and in tango nearly all screw ups are the fault of the lead. Nearly. There is really only one instance under which the lead is not responsible. And it happens when the Follower makes a different choice than what was intended. To be clearer, a Follower can mishear/misread what was led, but if they’re being honest, then they can rightfully abdicate responsibility for X, Y, and Z because it was ‘led’. However, that’s not an entirely accurate summation because it leaves out of the equation the role of the Active Follower and deliberately making choices that may not be what was intended but end up being so much more of an egalitarian experience to the point where the ideas of traditional lead and follow blend and merge and you’re not really certain who’s leading or following whom. 😉

Blame on the other hand, happens quite frequently, which usually goes like this: Lead/er ‘suggests’ X (1), Follow tries to initiate X, Follower mishears/misreads X (2), Lead stumbles in the execution of X because the Follower executed the wrong thing or is not where they’re supposed to be, Blame ensues, and then here’s the kicker – The Follower Apologizes for what they were led to do!

Notation 1: That ‘suggestion’ is usually vague as the day is long. Meaning that said ‘lead’ (the action) is not as clear and direct as it could be, usually said lead (the action) is stopped or incomplete half way through the intention to do such. And as a result the Follower is unclear as to what they’re supposed to be doing and thereby must ‘infer’.

Notation 2: The Follower has to infer a great amount from an unclear lead. This happens quite frequently, and more so than we would like. 🙁

As a result, the Blame Game ensues, round and round we go.

There is a way out of the Game. Several really. One of them is to recognize that you’re not all that, and that you’re human, and that you make mistakes – frequently. Accept responsibility for those mistakes and move on.

MORE REMINDERS

La Viruta

Let’s get the details out of the way. The sight lines are awful. It’s dark, pitch dark in certain parts of the room. It’s crowded, and hot even with the A.C on in the ‘summer’. The drinks are expensive. The tables are small, assuming you can find one or have reserved one (which is recommended). The ‘hot’ area, meaning a place to ‘get’ dances, in the room is in front of the bar at the back left side of the room, and the entrance fee is on par with everywhere else (see end). There’s a restaurant upstairs, and on Mondays and Tuesday nights there is Salsa there. The rest of the week, it’s all Tango baby. There are classes nearly every night of the week, for different levels.

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Facility

Facility can be, but is not limited to, Familiarity with Vocabulary, Execution of the Vocabulary, also it’s about Balance, Equilibrium, Kinesthetic Awareness, Kinesthetic Listening, The Neurology of Leading, The Neurology of Following (which is how you respond to something from a follower’s perspective), Proprioception, and last but not least Extending Your Capabilities. We’ll get to that last one in just a bit. Two of the more common aspects of Facility are Execution and Proprioception. So let’s quickly review what Tango Topics means when it refers to these ideas…“

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The Walking Debate

A good portion of Follower’s close their eyes while dancing. The Lead, obviously, can’t close their eyes, but they do cast their eyes towards the floor to watch their Follower’s feet (tsk, tsk, tsk). They close their eyes for a variety of reasons: 1.) To be able to concentrate better. 2.) To ‘feel’ their partner in a more ‘connected’ way. 3.) To not be so distracted by the rest of the room. 4.) To feel more intimate. 5.) To tune out.

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Perfectionism

There are those of us that separate being ‘good’ as being good enough, and anything beyond that is just ‘unnecessary’. It’s really about getting around the floor, and if no one complains about the embrace, or you don’t hit anything, or anyone, and you can throw in that cool move now and again, so much the better!

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The Importance of Two Millimeters

Contrary to what you might believe or think, distance, space, and rightfully precision absolutely matters when it comes to Argentine Tango. Let’s back up a bit and define a few things before we delve too deeply into today’s Tango Thought. Precision as defined by Webster’s Dictionary (2017) is a noun as derived from the English word ‘precise’ which is itself an adjective meaning “definitely or strictly stated, defined, or fixed”. Clear ? Not. In short, ‘Precision’ means that there is an area of exactitude, and/accuracy, finite accuracy, finely tuned acute and tight accuracy. And that just about sums up what has to happen with regards to Argentine Tango.

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Good/Bad & Dancer/Teacher

At the beginning of our Tango lives, most people go to a Tango Class to learn how to dance Tango. Some people throw caution to the wind and just go to the Milonga and ‘learn’ on the dance floor sometimes with positive but most of the time with disastrous results. And some people take the route of skipping group classes all together and start with one-on-one sessions to begin their Tango journey.

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The ‘D’ Word

At the beginning of our Tango lives, most of us who start out taking a weekly series to get our feet wet, just so that we can say we ‘learned’ to tango. If only that were the end of it. It’s not. The classes never stop really. If you want to improve. If you want to get better and better dances with better partners, then you need to improve.

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Tango Improvement

You say the words, “I want to get better”. You mouth them as you watch the latest performance tango video on youtube. While at the same time, the thought flashes in your mind that you should schedule a private or two with X. ‘X’ being the local variant that teaches what you ‘believe in’. This teacher is also the one that you have gone to before and from your perspective has ‘helped’ you.

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancingWhereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

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