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Giving Feedback

see > ‘giving and receiving feedback‘

This is probably one the most important things in Argentine Tango that you can do for yourself and the people that you dance with. Giving constructive, clear, concise, clean, direct, and most of all, honest feedback. It is what is required. While feedback is subjective, it is not personal, it’s what is going on for you in the construct of the dance, the walk, the embrace, and how someone moves in relation to you.

The Trick ? Is to be honest with the people that you dance with, and the more honest you are, while it may be painful to say or painful to hear, assuming that feedback is of a ‘hard’ nature, it can be one of the better things you can do for someone, and yourself. Failure to do anything else is wasting their time and yours!

To be fair, some people don’t want to hear feedback. They like what they’re doing. And they either believe how they dance, their embrace, their walk, their choice of vocabulary (over and over and over again), their execution of said vocabulary (too slow, too much, too sloppy), their interpretation of the music is just fine, or they’re ignorant of what they’re doing, or because no one has ‘complained’ that everything is just fine. From their perspective they just want to ‘dance’, and feedback is pointless. These same people hear feedback, and really any feedback, as negative. Or they attribute the feedback to the person that’s giving it as being a perfectionist. These people are not ready to hear feedback. So giving them feedback is a complete waste of your time, effort, and energy. 

Start with a simple question “Would you like some feedback ?”. If the answer is “Yes”, then proceed with three ‘i’ statements, and only three. Do not go beyond this. Most people can only hear at most three, and that’s pushing it. ‘I’ statements are “I think…”, “I feel…”, “I see…”, “I hear…”, “I am experiencing …”, etc. “I feel pressure from your hand”, “I see that you stepping away from me”, “I hear the beat in the music as ….”, etc. Capice ?

MORE REMINDERS

Physiological Contact

January 2, 2017 No Comments

There is one aspect of The ‘Connection‘ Fallacy that comes up a lot and that’s the idea that there is some mystical/spiritual/magical way in which we communicate in the dance. That communication is stated as how our ‘connection’ is to someone and them to us and how well we ‘connected’ with each other. Rubbish! Not to piss in someone’s Cheerios but that’s just magical thinking.

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Being Criticized

January 8, 2017 No Comments

The truth is that this is critical feedback, about what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Hopefully that critical feedback or criticism is done with exacting detail, which is needed for analysis, breakdown, and then reconstruction or rebuilding your posture, walk, embrace, vocabulary, and/or musical interpretation. Without that critical feedback, you will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again thinking that everything is happy and lovely when in fact it’s not.

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Low Heels

December 11, 2016 No Comments

This isn’t rocket science. It’s pure fact. Lower heels for the Follower aren’t exactly the sexiest things in the world. All the attention is on the High Heel and the shape of the foot, calf, and thigh that the high heel generates as a result. The Low heel ? Not so much with that. It’s like the poor cousin, ne’er do-well that comes close but not quite. Uuuugh. 

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The Tango Haus

August 31, 2017 No Comments

What’s below is a small snippet of 13m:06s audio podcast of Today’s Topic on the benefits and detractors of building community using the idea of a Tango House. “What I refer to as the Tango ‘Haus’ idea. In this case this is the German spelling of ‘HAUS’. I just like the way it sounds. But we can use the American spelling of ‘House’. So a few years back and I may be bastardizing some history here. There was a tango house, and I’m not going to name the city, that grew up out of a U.S. based city. This community, at the time had a number of teachers in its area, and they were all using the typical model of how they wanted their students to learn to dance.

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Tango Reputation

February 1, 2017 No Comments

No matter how hard you try (positively or negatively) you’re going to acquire a ‘Tango Reputation’. Meaning ? How you engage socially, how you dance, who you dance with, how ‘good’ you are, how often you dance, if you teach, where you teach, who you teach with, whether or not (if you teach) you dance only with your students or with others, if you teach others while dancing (tsk, tsk, tsk), whether or not you dance milonga, how good your milonga skills are, whether or not you lead and follow or not.

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The Waiter Hand

January 18, 2017 No Comments

Another one that you’re going to see a lot of is the Lead who places his palm upward, flat, and outwards, sometimes fingers outstretched as if they were a waiter serving drinks at an upscale bar. The elbow is dropped, and the hand is well below shoulder level.

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La Cumparsita

October 8, 2017 No Comments

At the end of nearly every Milonga in the world, that you will ever attend, while you will hear more than a few familiar songs, there are a handful that have very specific meanings. One of them is played at the end of the night to signify that the Milonga has come to end, which should be a cue to find your favorite partner and to dance with them. The song ? “La Cumparsita” or as it is translated into English, ‘The Little Carnival’.

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The Neurology of Leading – Part 2

September 17, 2017 No Comments

A question that comes up for some leads, not all leads, but some Leads (big ‘L’) is why is it important that you spend a lot of time listening to Tango music, and more importantly to mark the music ? Typically you’ll hear this question as “I have a life you know ? I have things to do. I can’t sit around all day long just listening to song after song after song for days, weeks, months, marking up every song in some crazy 8 count beat sort of way, and then try to memorize all that all so….

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