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Being Criticized

Most people don’t enjoy being criticized about anything at all. Think about it for a moment, do you actually enjoy someone telling you that you’re screwing up ? No. Probably not. Now we add Argentine Tango into the equation, and someone criticizing you for your lack of X, Y, and Z and it generally makes for a less-than-desirable emotionally rough situation. Most people will feel uncomfortable, ignorant, and embarrassed, and then want to hide in the closet until the storm passes. 

Erroneously criticism of any kind, with regards to Argentine Tango, is attributed to ‘perfectionism’.  It’s not ‘perfectionism’, it is honesty. And that honesty is absolutely required so that one may improve.

The truth is that this is critical feedback, about what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Hopefully that critical feedback or criticism is done with exacting detail, which is needed for analysis, breakdown, and then reconstruction or rebuilding your posture, walk, embrace, vocabulary, and/or musical interpretation. Without that critical feedback, you will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again thinking that everything is happy and lovely when in fact it’s not. Put another way that without that feedback you’re living in an echo chamber of “you’re doing good”, “that’s fabulous”, and “well done”. However, when you go out social dancing, you’ll find that you will end up sitting most of the night for a variety of reasons because the echo chamber doesn’t match up with the reality of social dancing. 

Essentially you want an honest assessment of your skills, honest feedback, clear, direct, clean, and dispassionate feedback about where you are, and what you’re doing. This is being criticized. 🙂

Unfortunately most people, when they hear the words “Criticize” or “Critical Feedback”, they immediately turn off and disengage. They take it as a personal attack on them as a person, and not about what they’re doing. It’s negative instead of seen as room for improvement. People only want to hear how well they’re doing (especially North Americans!).

So getting Critical Feedback and being criticized is absolutely required to improve your dance.

Anything else is a waste of your time towards improvement. 

MORE REMINDERS

Spectrum of Ideas.

December 31, 2016 No Comments

Because there are no ‘Standards & Practices’ in Tango, therefore ‘Right’/’Wrong’ are subjective, which are for the most part, based on your teacher’s point of view of how things should be done. And as a result you, the unwitting student, take one those ideas as your own because you believe that because X is teaching that they must be the soul of all wisdom. Very infrequently do tango teachers teach a fair and balanced, or well rounded point of view. They usually teach what their subscribe to in their Tango world view, what they agree with, and what their teacher showed them. Very infrequently will they teach something that is outside that world view.

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Waiting vs. Listening

June 2, 2018 No Comments

What is Waiting Vs. Listening ? In it’s simplest form this comparison deals with the axiom of Followers are told to "Wait for your L/lead", and instead implies that there is another idea sitting there that almost never gets talked about and in today’s Tango world almost never gets used, which is "Listening".

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Wood Floors

February 11, 2018 No Comments

The toy of choice for most dancers is a ‘Sprung’ floor! That’s a work of art, science, and pure magic. Sprung floors are to dancers, what honey is to bees.  A ‘Sprung’ floor ? What’s that ? A Sprung floor is a dance floor that easily absorbs shocks, giving it a softer feel. Such floors are considered the best available for dance and indoor sports and physical education. They enhance performance and greatly reduce injuries.

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The Unseen

November 5, 2016 No Comments

There is an unspoken, unwritten rule with regards to Argentine Tango. Actually there are a few of them. However, one of them is that once you are acknowledged you are now persona grata. However, if you are NOT acknowledged….then you are Persona Non-Grata. You don’t exist. They don’t see you. And the more that you stand in front of them, the less that they’ll see you. You are the ‘Unseen’.

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Men (Age)

February 26, 2017 No Comments

Welcome to the Department of the Obvious Department. Today’s menu of the Obvious includes: Men not asking for directions when lost, Men over talking Women, Men squeezing the living daylights out of their partners, and last but not least the Age of a Man has nothing to do with his ability to get dances!

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The Birthday Song

May 22, 2018 No Comments

The Benefits of a Birthday Song. There are a few, but important, benefits to having a Birthday Song for one or more people at the Milonga. 1.) From an organizational position, the Milonga Organizer can use this as a way to advertise the weekly Milonga. "It’s Miles’ Birthday, Come and Dance with him into the wee hours!". That sort of thing. 2.) It’s a way for the Community to come together and support one of their own.

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancing! Whereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

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