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Being Criticized

Most people don’t enjoy being criticized about anything at all. Think about it for a moment, do you actually enjoy someone telling you that you’re screwing up ? No. Probably not. Now we add Argentine Tango into the equation, and someone criticizing you for your lack of X, Y, and Z and it generally makes for a less-than-desirable emotionally rough situation. Most people will feel uncomfortable, ignorant, and embarrassed, and then want to hide in the closet until the storm passes. 

Erroneously criticism of any kind, with regards to Argentine Tango, is attributed to ‘perfectionism’.  It’s not ‘perfectionism’, it is honesty. And that honesty is absolutely required so that one may improve.

The truth is that this is critical feedback, about what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Hopefully that critical feedback or criticism is done with exacting detail, which is needed for analysis, breakdown, and then reconstruction or rebuilding your posture, walk, embrace, vocabulary, and/or musical interpretation. Without that critical feedback, you will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again thinking that everything is happy and lovely when in fact it’s not. Put another way that without that feedback you’re living in an echo chamber of “you’re doing good”, “that’s fabulous”, and “well done”. However, when you go out social dancing, you’ll find that you will end up sitting most of the night for a variety of reasons because the echo chamber doesn’t match up with the reality of social dancing. 

Essentially you want an honest assessment of your skills, honest feedback, clear, direct, clean, and dispassionate feedback about where you are, and what you’re doing. This is being criticized. 🙂

Unfortunately most people, when they hear the words “Criticize” or “Critical Feedback”, they immediately turn off and disengage. They take it as a personal attack on them as a person, and not about what they’re doing. It’s negative instead of seen as room for improvement. People only want to hear how well they’re doing (especially North Americans!).

So getting Critical Feedback and being criticized is absolutely required to improve your dance.

Anything else is a waste of your time towards improvement. 

MORE REMINDERS

Physiological Contact

January 2, 2017 No Comments

There is one aspect of The ‘Connection‘ Fallacy that comes up a lot and that’s the idea that there is some mystical/spiritual/magical way in which we communicate in the dance. That communication is stated as how our ‘connection’ is to someone and them to us and how well we ‘connected’ with each other. Rubbish! Not to piss in someone’s Cheerios but that’s just magical thinking.

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Saying ‘No’.

April 6, 2017 No Comments

So without further variance, below is a 10 step process in “How to say ‘No’, and not dance with Y!” 🙂

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The Walking Debate

April 10, 2017 No Comments

A good portion of Follower’s close their eyes while dancing. The Lead, obviously, can’t close their eyes, but they do cast their eyes towards the floor to watch their Follower’s feet (tsk, tsk, tsk). They close their eyes for a variety of reasons: 1.) To be able to concentrate better. 2.) To ‘feel’ their partner in a more ‘connected’ way. 3.) To not be so distracted by the rest of the room. 4.) To feel more intimate. 5.) To tune out.

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The Talking Cabeco/Mirada

January 30, 2017 No Comments

If you’ve been dancing a little while, or for many years, at some point along the curve you’ve heard the word ‘Cabeceo’. Which roughly translates as a slight nod or nodding of the head (Cabeza) for the Lead to invite a Follower. The Follower’s side of that same invitation is referred to as a ‘Mirada’ (to look at, or ‘looked’). It’s an oddity that almost no one knows about the Follower’s side of the equation, that the Follower can ask for a tanda, employing the same methodology. It just has a slightly different name.

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It’s Too Late

March 15, 2017 No Comments

Frequently most dancers after they ‘learn’ something will fail to solo practice it, as well as use it at a social practica, which as a result fails to deepen their fluidity when dancing so that when X, Y, and Z is led or followed they ‘miss’ it and hesitate. Thereby creating the impression that they’re inept dancers.

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Physiological Control

January 31, 2017 No Comments

Control is a really hard thing to get. It takes a while to have precise, or precision, control over exact foot placement, which is insanely important. It takes time to build up the necessary minute control that one needs to have over one’s body. A millimeter here, a millimeter there, cumulatively, can make all the difference between a dance that sucks (for both parties) and one that is absolutely fabulous. Precision control is where all the toys are at.

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Floorcraft

December 4, 2016 No Comments

What is Floorcraft ? In it’s simplest form, as there layers and layers to this stuff, it is how to navigate the floor while dancing with your partner and not hitting the couples ahead, or behind you. As well as not touching the tables, and chairs. All the while interpreting the music, concurrently interpreting the beat and the musical pauses to fit the tango vocabulary while maintaining the spacing between the couples.

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The ‘Connection’ Fallacy

November 17, 2016 No Comments

“Connection” is a wonderful idea. We like to believe in the romanticism of this word, and all that it implies, which is as it turns out a considerable amount. However, the word itself, from a Tango perspective, has been beat up and bruised that it more than likely has lost it’s original intent. When you say the word to someone it could mean any one of eight (8) different things as it relates to the dance. However, this is not a definition of the word, for that please see the Tango Topics Definition of the word "Connection". 


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