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Receiving Feedback

see > ‘giving and receiving feedback‘

Receiving Feedback is as insanely important as giving it.

Here’s how you do it.

Ready ?

SHUT UP.
STOP TALKING.
LISTEN. 

Let the other person speak, and/or demonstrate what’s going on for them. Do not interrupt. Do not engage in defending your position. Don’t get defensive. Do not let your ego get in the way of hearing what you need to hear right now. One of the best things that you can do for you, and the people that you dance with is be humble, gracious, kind, clear, and most of all be quiet when receiving feedback.

To be clear, listening is a highly undervalued skill in today’s world, we want to talk so that we can confirm that we’re on the right page and to seem like, as if, we’re knowledgeable. You do not want to do this. Instead use your ears, use your eyes, be silent, and listen. 

At the same time, it wouldn’t kill your ego to ask for feedback now and again. And while most Followers do this, not enough Leads engage in this practice.

Engage in the active practice of asking for feedback, and then…here’s the hard part – RECEIVE it!

MORE REMINDERS

Alternative

January 28, 2017 No Comments

There is another option as it’s referred to in the Tango world, Alternative Tango. Sometimes Alternative Tango is known by it’s other names “Neo” Tango or “Nuevo” Tango (which is a misnomer, as this was name that Astor Piazzolla gave to his musical genre that changed Tango music forever). Frequently “open embrace” is lumped in there as well due to the fact that a good portion of the vocabulary of Alternative Tango seemingly comes via an opening of the embrace.

Read More »

Fear of Milonga

March 20, 2017 No Comments

The fact is that some folks have a justifiable fear of Milonga! No not the dance party, nor the music at the milonga, no…this fear refers to the abject fear that is expressed by some people when Milonga music is played because now they must dance ‘Milonga’ moves to milonga music. The reason ? Either it’s the speed at which it is seemingly danced, or the music that is perceived to be ‘fast’, movements/steps/patterns/figures that are associated and specific to Milonga. Some people just freak right out when it comes to milonga. Some people actually break out in a cold sweat at the very thought of it, Lead or Follow.

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Dancing In Berlin

February 21, 2017 No Comments

Berlin is known for many reasons around the world, it’s culture, it’s Berlin accent of German, it’s fact as a post-cold war city, and most recently the financial capital of Europe. Tango was certainly not on that list. If however, you happen to be a Tango dancer, and at a very specific place in your dance, then you have heard Yoda-like whispers of “Berlin…you should go to Berlin…”. There’s a reason for those whispers, which has turned into ‘talk’. It’s because there is a reason for all the ‘fuss’ over Tango in Berlin.

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Posture

January 9, 2017 No Comments

As has been said, many times, which is exceptionally important, and is frequently mentioned by many dancers almost immediately is: Posture.

Posture for most people boils down to the following two lines:

“Head up!”.

“Elongate your Spinal Column.”

This is a ‘good’ posture for most people.

Sounds easy enough, right ? Just lift your head up, and then ummmm ‘elongate’ your spinal column.

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Tango Frustration

May 20, 2017 No Comments

Contrary to what you may have heard, the reality of Tango for some people is, as a Lead as well as a Follow, is not all happy and lovely. The fact is that some of those dancers go to the Milonga knowing that they are going to sit, a lot. And that sitting leads a winding path through a host of emotions that ultimately lands them on the door step of Tango Frustration.

Read More »

Tango Reputation

February 1, 2017 No Comments

No matter how hard you try (positively or negatively) you’re going to acquire a ‘Tango Reputation’. Meaning ? How you engage socially, how you dance, who you dance with, how ‘good’ you are, how often you dance, if you teach, where you teach, who you teach with, whether or not (if you teach) you dance only with your students or with others, if you teach others while dancing (tsk, tsk, tsk), whether or not you dance milonga, how good your milonga skills are, whether or not you lead and follow or not.

Read More »

Lead Bashing

February 11, 2017 No Comments

Bashing ? Meaning that you’re throwin’ some shade, picking on, pointing out the errors of, giving some shit, pointing fingers at, trash talking, talk down, blaming and shaming, and the euphemistic UK’ism “taking the piss”. While that last one is more about making fun of someone, that’s not actually what this idea is all about. It’s about disparaging someone, or in this case, from a Tango perspective, the L/lead’s abilities (the person, and the action).

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Men That Don’t Study

February 8, 2017 No Comments

Men. Oy. Tango is hard enough, but adding ego to the equation just creates a whole other level of issues that most women can agree is a lot like a pissing contest. Before we lay into this like white on rice: Being fair, not all men have an ego when it comes to Tango. A smaller number of them do recognize that Tango is a study. As such it requires them to do their homework, on a regular basis. And ‘homework’ in this case means private study, solo practice, solo study, musical study, on a daily basis.

Read More »

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancing! Whereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

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