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Receiving Feedback

see > ‘giving and receiving feedback‘

Receiving Feedback is as insanely important as giving it.

Here’s how you do it.

Ready ?

SHUT UP.
STOP TALKING.
LISTEN. 

Let the other person speak, and/or demonstrate what’s going on for them. Do not interrupt. Do not engage in defending your position. Don’t get defensive. Do not let your ego get in the way of hearing what you need to hear right now. One of the best things that you can do for you, and the people that you dance with is be humble, gracious, kind, clear, and most of all be quiet when receiving feedback.

To be clear, listening is a highly undervalued skill in today’s world, we want to talk so that we can confirm that we’re on the right page and to seem like, as if, we’re knowledgeable. You do not want to do this. Instead use your ears, use your eyes, be silent, and listen. 

At the same time, it wouldn’t kill your ego to ask for feedback now and again. And while most Followers do this, not enough Leads engage in this practice.

Engage in the active practice of asking for feedback, and then…here’s the hard part – RECEIVE it!

MORE REMINDERS

Cake!

February 19, 2017 No Comments

Should you eat before, or after a milonga, or not at all ? Some people say “before, so that you don’t get hungry during the milonga”. But then they complain that they can’t move as freely. Some people say “After! Because I’ll be ravenous”. But then these same people quite factually ‘grumble’ (meaning their stomachs are growling because they’re hungry) while they dance with you. Some people are in the ‘not’ at all category! They can seemingly contain their exertion and not require sustenance before, during, and after a milonga.

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Magical Improvement

February 25, 2017 No Comments

“She’s not magically going to improve just because you ‘show’ her what she’s supposed to do at that moment.” To make this non gender specific, because this axiom applies to both genders, and both roles. As well as teachers and students. Some teachers know this truth, some teachers learn it the hard way. Clarity: The – “supposed to do” part above. This idea frequently occurs where you have a male Lead that has an expectation of X being followed properly, where X is Traveling Ochos, Volcada, Milonguero Turn, etc. And when it doesn’t they stop their dancing and then show the Follower what was intended. And here’s the magical part, they keep showing them, hoping that it will change the Follower’s behavior and frequently it doesn’t.

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The Non-Gender Cabeceo

November 10, 2017 No Comments

What is a ’Non-Gender Cabeceo’ ? A Non-Gender Cabeceo works exactly the same way that a Gendered Cabeceo works. There’s nothing special or different about it. The practice is exactly the same regardless of Gender, or at least it should be. If same sex dancing, or role fluidity, is permitted at Milongas, Marathons, and Encuentros, then the same rules apply in a Gendered Cabeceo.

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Heel vs. Toe (Lead) ?

June 2, 2017 No Comments

Today’s Thought is a very old debate with a twist, as you’ll soon see. The Debate ? To step forward (or side) with a Heel strike first OR a Toe point first. So let’s debate, shall we ? The Heel Side: This side of the debate says that you can and should, when stepping forward, step forward as if you were walking on the street, normally. You would use the heel in a natural way, allowing it to strike the pavement or the floor (in the case of dancing) as you would normally. There’s nothing about this idea that is new. This is something that you don’t necessarily need to learn a whole lot about, as it just ‘happens’. There’s not a lot to it really.

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Dancing In Berlin

February 21, 2017 No Comments

Berlin is known for many reasons around the world, it’s culture, it’s Berlin accent of German, it’s fact as a post-cold war city, and most recently the financial capital of Europe. Tango was certainly not on that list. If however, you happen to be a Tango dancer, and at a very specific place in your dance, then you have heard Yoda-like whispers of “Berlin…you should go to Berlin…”. There’s a reason for those whispers, which has turned into ‘talk’. It’s because there is a reason for all the ‘fuss’ over Tango in Berlin.

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Discipline

October 24, 2016 No Comments

Ballet dancers know all too well that a good dance teacher is strict, hard as a nails, and won’t let you get away with anything. While it may be hard on the body, and hard on the ego, the fact is that dance teachers like that are a godsend. However, the teacher is only one component to the educational process.

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More Classes

March 11, 2017 No Comments

At some point along the curve of your tango life, continuing to take classes seems like a really stupid idea. You’ve learned everything you need to know to get around the floor. Practice isn’t really that important any longer. And going to Milongas is really the important part, so who needs to practice ?

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Tango Frustration

May 20, 2017 No Comments

Contrary to what you may have heard, the reality of Tango for some people is, as a Lead as well as a Follow, is not all happy and lovely. The fact is that some of those dancers go to the Milonga knowing that they are going to sit, a lot. And that sitting leads a winding path through a host of emotions that ultimately lands them on the door step of Tango Frustration.

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Variation

November 6, 2016 No Comments

Repetition is only good in horseshoes and hand grenades. Which is to say, that no one, absolutely no one, likes being led to the same thing over and over and over again. Variation is the key to success! Small variation, large variations that open doors to other ideas, other thoughts. But in the end, variation. Taking an idea and then reversing it, or slowing it down, speeding it up, speeding up a part of it (musically), slowing down a piece of it, taking off the beginning or the end and reversing their positions. This is variation.

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1.) Free Users get to see 5 of the 125 Different Tango Topics on the site. Plus you get access to the entire Tango Reminders and Tango Ideas sections of the site. These are short form Topic descriptors with a little detail about the topic and the video.

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5.) Basic, Premium, and Premium+ users get the ‘Dancing Perspectives’ & ‘The Soup’ sections of the document you just read (Lead, Follow, and Dancing) which are open to you. And that’s where all the good stuff is at. 

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancing! Whereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

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