The Unseen

There is an unspoken, unwritten rule with regards to Argentine Tango. Actually there are a few of them. However, one of them is that once you are acknowledged you are now persona grata. However, if you are NOT acknowledged….then you are Persona Non-Grata. You don’t exist. They don’t see you.

And the more that you stand in front of them, the less that they’ll see you.

You are the ‘Unseen’. 

The fact is that this is socially rude behavior in some people’s eyes, especially if you come from another social dance where everybody dances with everyone and no one ever says ‘No’. Tango is a different experience altogether, top to bottom. It’s one of those dances where you really do have to study the codígos to understand why things are done the way that they’re done so that you don’t get frustrated or pissed off. The fact is that this behavior has a purpose. Before we get to that specific purpose, there is another idea that should be mentioned in part here because they’re easily confused with each other. 

Let’s assume for the moment that you know “X”. You’ve danced with “X” previously. And you’ve been friendly with “X”. However when you see them they don’t acknowledge your presence immediately until later, after you’ve already entered the room, sat down, gotten a drink, and then perhaps danced around the room a bit with a few partners. So the acknowledgement of your presence may be a really simple thing as they didn’t see you. Quite honestly, they’re so busy with other things, that you just didn’t pop up on their radar. Depending on the size of the room, the number of people in the room this is easily the case. Especially at the more busy and popular milongas. It’s easy to miss someone for hours like this, and in fact miss them for an entire night until you both find yourselves out on the street afterwards both saying the same thing “Where were you all night long ?”. This can and does happen. 

However there is the more unpleasant side of this behavior which is that you’re deliberately being shunned, and shunned for a reason. However the only way that you’ll know what that reason is, is to ask said individual what the effing problem is, and then you’re into someone’s issues. The two behaviors look very similar to each other because it will appear as though while you recognize “X”, they don’t see you, you are The Unseen. One reason why this happens is the size of the room, still another is the volume of people in the room, still one more is that they do see you but are they’re saving you until later until they’ve gotten their ‘duty’ dances out of the way, or they’re placing you in order so that you are greeted properly and danced with properly. This may be the case, and you really have no way of knowing if you’re being shunned or not. 

So what’s the best thing you can do ?

Go about your business, dance with whomever you want to but for the love of christ, do not get up in someone’s cabeceo/mirada hoping for a dance. Acknowledge their presence and if they respond in kind, you know that everything is cool. If not, wait it out or ask “WTF ?”. Whatever works best for you. But do yourself a small favor, don’t get up in their face about it UNTIL AFTER the milonga. Don’t cause a scene, take it outside and chillax with a simple question, “Where were you ?”, and let things roll from there. To be fair if said “unseen” behavior continues to occur, then there’s some indirect ‘shunning’ going on and a few words to that effect wouldn’t kill you so that you stop having the same interaction with that person. Understand that some people, probably yourself included, have a problem with confrontation. So take it in stride, chillax, this is someoen’s experience and story that’s in their head about you. Do your best to correct that story if it’s not true, but the end result is to chillax. 🙂 YMMV.

MORE REMINDERS

Toe vs. Heel (Follower) ?

In case you have been living under a rock, this Thought is going to shock you somewhat. There is a debate that has been raging for quite some time now. The debate ? Should the Follower step forward with their heel first, or their toe first ? Better known as the Heel or Toe debate only for Followers, not for Leads as is the usual debated topic.

Read More »

Giving Up Tango

There comes a point in your Tango life for one of several reasons where you find yourself in an odd place – the want to give up Tango. The most common reason is that you’re just not getting the same thing from the dance as you used to get from it. You go to Milongas. You find yourself sitting more, talking more, and dancing less.

Read More »

Watching The Feet

Put simply – If you can see your partner’s feet while dancing with them…there’s a problem. The problem ? Well actually there are several that you’re completely unaware of, below are just a few of them….

Read More »

The Neurology of Leading – Part 2

A question that comes up for some leads, not all leads, but some Leads (big ‘L’) is why is it important that you spend a lot of time listening to Tango music, and more importantly to mark the music ? Typically you’ll hear this question as “I have a life you know ? I have things to do. I can’t sit around all day long just listening to song after song after song for days, weeks, months, marking up every song in some crazy 8 count beat sort of way, and then try to memorize all that all so….

Read More »

The Importance of Two Millimeters

Contrary to what you might believe or think, distance, space, and rightfully precision absolutely matters when it comes to Argentine Tango. Let’s back up a bit and define a few things before we delve too deeply into today’s Tango Thought. Precision as defined by Webster’s Dictionary (2017) is a noun as derived from the English word ‘precise’ which is itself an adjective meaning “definitely or strictly stated, defined, or fixed”. Clear ? Not. In short, ‘Precision’ means that there is an area of exactitude, and/accuracy, finite accuracy, finely tuned acute and tight accuracy. And that just about sums up what has to happen with regards to Argentine Tango.

Read More »

Rejection

What follows relates to the verbal ask for a dance and the rejection, this thought does not talk about the reject from a failed cabeceo or mirada. Let’s lay out some facts before we get to the heart of this stuff. Fact: The ask, no matter how ‘sly’ you think you’re being, is going to be awkward.

Read More »

Architecture

Architecture. There are certain things we want to do with our bodies in relation to Argentine Tango and Social Dancing, one of them is to ‘close our fingers’ or bring our fingers together in every possible place where we lay our hands on our partners or they come into contact with our partner’s bodies.

Read More »

Dancing In Berlin

Berlin is known for many reasons around the world, it’s culture, it’s Berlin accent of German, it’s fact as a post-cold war city, and most recently the financial capital of Europe. Tango was certainly not on that list. If however, you happen to be a Tango dancer, and at a very specific place in your dance, then you have heard Yoda-like whispers of “Berlin…you should go to Berlin…”. There’s a reason for those whispers, which has turned into ‘talk’. It’s because there is a reason for all the ‘fuss’ over Tango in Berlin.

Read More »

Cake!

Should you eat before, or after a milonga, or not at all ? Some people say “before, so that you don’t get hungry during the milonga”. But then they complain that they can’t move as freely. Some people say “After! Because I’ll be ravenous”. But then these same people quite factually ‘grumble’ (meaning their stomachs are growling because they’re hungry) while they dance with you. Some people are in the ‘not’ at all category! They can seemingly contain their exertion and not require sustenance before, during, and after a milonga.

Read More »

Facility

Facility can be, but is not limited to, Familiarity with Vocabulary, Execution of the Vocabulary, also it’s about Balance, Equilibrium, Kinesthetic Awareness, Kinesthetic Listening, The Neurology of Leading, The Neurology of Following (which is how you respond to something from a follower’s perspective), Proprioception, and last but not least Extending Your Capabilities. We’ll get to that last one in just a bit. Two of the more common aspects of Facility are Execution and Proprioception. So let’s quickly review what Tango Topics means when it refers to these ideas…“

Read More »

10 REASONS TO SUBSCRIBE

There are 4 Levels of Access: Free, Basic, Premium, and Premium+. Free pays nothing but gets a perk just for signing up. 

1.) Free Users get to see 5 of the 125 Different Tango Topics on the site. Plus you get access to the entire Tango Reminders and Tango Ideas sections of the site. These are short form Topic descriptors with a little detail about the topic and the video.

2.) 
Basic and Premium users Save A BOATLOAD of MONEY! Buying this stuff outright is expensive.

3.) Basic, Premium, and Premium+ users get access to the ALL ARTICLES and THE FULL ARTICLE which you can’t see right now.

4.) Basic, Premium, and Premium+ users have way better video resolution: Free = 420p, Basic = 720p, Premium = 1080p and 4K. 

5.) Basic, Premium, and Premium+ users get the ‘Dancing Perspectives’ & ‘The Soup’ sections of the document you just read (Lead, Follow, and Dancing) which are open to you. And that’s where all the good stuff is at. 

6.) Video Downloads! 

7.) Access to the Tango Topics Music Library (22 Curated Golden Age Orchestras)

8.) Access to ‘Tango Del Dia’ – Our Music Education System with access to 14 Days of Music, 30 Days of Music Education, and 30 More Days of Tango Del Dia. 

9.) We explain things, break the vocabulary down in a visual way, from multiple angles, showing feet, hands, and close ups! Yes there’s a lot of talking but we want you to understand what it is that you’re doing and why, not just steps, patterns, and figure

and #10:
No more annoying ads at the bottom of the page, begging you to subscribe! 

Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancingWhereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

DROP ME A MSG HERE

Hide picture