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Being Criticized

Most people don’t enjoy being criticized about anything at all. Think about it for a moment, do you actually enjoy someone telling you that you’re screwing up ? No. Probably not. Now we add Argentine Tango into the equation, and someone criticizing you for your lack of X, Y, and Z and it generally makes for a less-than-desirable emotionally rough situation. Most people will feel uncomfortable, ignorant, and embarrassed, and then want to hide in the closet until the storm passes. 

Erroneously criticism of any kind, with regards to Argentine Tango, is attributed to ‘perfectionism’.  It’s not ‘perfectionism’, it is honesty. And that honesty is absolutely required so that one may improve.

The truth is that this is critical feedback, about what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Hopefully that critical feedback or criticism is done with exacting detail, which is needed for analysis, breakdown, and then reconstruction or rebuilding your posture, walk, embrace, vocabulary, and/or musical interpretation. Without that critical feedback, you will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again thinking that everything is happy and lovely when in fact it’s not. Put another way that without that feedback you’re living in an echo chamber of “you’re doing good”, “that’s fabulous”, and “well done”. However, when you go out social dancing, you’ll find that you will end up sitting most of the night for a variety of reasons because the echo chamber doesn’t match up with the reality of social dancing. 

Essentially you want an honest assessment of your skills, honest feedback, clear, direct, clean, and dispassionate feedback about where you are, and what you’re doing. This is being criticized. 🙂

Unfortunately most people, when they hear the words “Criticize” or “Critical Feedback”, they immediately turn off and disengage. They take it as a personal attack on them as a person, and not about what they’re doing. It’s negative instead of seen as room for improvement. People only want to hear how well they’re doing (especially North Americans!).

So getting Critical Feedback and being criticized is absolutely required to improve your dance.

Anything else is a waste of your time towards improvement. 

MORE REMINDERS

Physiological Contact

January 2, 2017 No Comments

There is one aspect of The ‘Connection‘ Fallacy that comes up a lot and that’s the idea that there is some mystical/spiritual/magical way in which we communicate in the dance. That communication is stated as how our ‘connection’ is to someone and them to us and how well we ‘connected’ with each other. Rubbish! Not to piss in someone’s Cheerios but that’s just magical thinking.

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The Neurology of Leading – Part 2

September 17, 2017 No Comments

A question that comes up for some leads, not all leads, but some Leads (big ‘L’) is why is it important that you spend a lot of time listening to Tango music, and more importantly to mark the music ? Typically you’ll hear this question as “I have a life you know ? I have things to do. I can’t sit around all day long just listening to song after song after song for days, weeks, months, marking up every song in some crazy 8 count beat sort of way, and then try to memorize all that all so….

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Tango Cities

February 18, 2017 No Comments

Today’s Tango Thought covers a labor of Tantalus … where is Tango danced and in what cities ? What follows is by no means an exhaustive list of places where tango is danced, it only scratches the surface.

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The Practica

February 22, 2017 No Comments

The idea of a Practica is ‘theoretically’ to Practice what you have learned. To try out what you have been shown, with multiple partners, as if you were in a class rotation. It is ‘theoretical’ because while the theory is nice, the reality is a little different.

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Saying ‘No’.

April 6, 2017 No Comments

So without further variance, below is a 10 step process in “How to say ‘No’, and not dance with Y!” 🙂

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Men (Age)

February 26, 2017 No Comments

Welcome to the Department of the Obvious Department. Today’s menu of the Obvious includes: Men not asking for directions when lost, Men over talking Women, Men squeezing the living daylights out of their partners, and last but not least the Age of a Man has nothing to do with his ability to get dances!

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Learning The Other Side

May 15, 2018 No Comments

Let’s get right to the heart of the question, "Why on earth would anyone want to learn the other side of the embrace ?". The answer to that question is actually not a singular answer, there are actually 5 good reasons why you learn the other role that you may or may not disagree with. They are as follows:

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Wine & Tango

March 18, 2017 No Comments

Stop and think about something for a moment: Wine is alcohol (duh). Alcohol is a depressant, not a stimulant, it lowers our inhibitions, and ability for rational thought. It allows for us to do things while under it’s effects (inebriation) that we wouldn’t normally do. Like for instance, ‘drunk dial the ex’, or taken to the extreme – driving while intoxicated (tsk, tsk, tsk). Typically the average ‘wine’ drinker never gets beyond the tipsy stage….they can ‘hold their liquor’ as it were.

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The Row of Men That Stand

February 7, 2017 No Comments

There’s that row of men that stand at every milonga. They hover. They waver from side to side. They stand with their arms crossed. All by themselves. They never sit, and they seemingly never dance. There’s usually a row of them, more than 3 or 4. And no matter what happens, you almost never see them dance. There’s a reason for that. It’s because a good portion of the better Followers in the room has had a less than desirable experience with them.

Read More »

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancing! Whereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

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