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Being Criticized

Most people don’t enjoy being criticized about anything at all. Think about it for a moment, do you actually enjoy someone telling you that you’re screwing up ? No. Probably not. Now we add Argentine Tango into the equation, and someone criticizing you for your lack of X, Y, and Z and it generally makes for a less-than-desirable emotionally rough situation. Most people will feel uncomfortable, ignorant, and embarrassed, and then want to hide in the closet until the storm passes. 

Erroneously criticism of any kind, with regards to Argentine Tango, is attributed to ‘perfectionism’.  It’s not ‘perfectionism’, it is honesty. And that honesty is absolutely required so that one may improve.

The truth is that this is critical feedback, about what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Hopefully that critical feedback or criticism is done with exacting detail, which is needed for analysis, breakdown, and then reconstruction or rebuilding your posture, walk, embrace, vocabulary, and/or musical interpretation. Without that critical feedback, you will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again thinking that everything is happy and lovely when in fact it’s not. Put another way that without that feedback you’re living in an echo chamber of “you’re doing good”, “that’s fabulous”, and “well done”. However, when you go out social dancing, you’ll find that you will end up sitting most of the night for a variety of reasons because the echo chamber doesn’t match up with the reality of social dancing. 

Essentially you want an honest assessment of your skills, honest feedback, clear, direct, clean, and dispassionate feedback about where you are, and what you’re doing. This is being criticized. 🙂

Unfortunately most people, when they hear the words “Criticize” or “Critical Feedback”, they immediately turn off and disengage. They take it as a personal attack on them as a person, and not about what they’re doing. It’s negative instead of seen as room for improvement. People only want to hear how well they’re doing (especially North Americans!).

So getting Critical Feedback and being criticized is absolutely required to improve your dance.

Anything else is a waste of your time towards improvement. 

MORE REMINDERS

La Viruta

March 3, 2017 No Comments

Let’s get the details out of the way. The sight lines are awful. It’s dark, pitch dark in certain parts of the room. It’s crowded, and hot even with the A.C on in the ‘summer’. The drinks are expensive. The tables are small, assuming you can find one or have reserved one (which is recommended). The ‘hot’ area, meaning a place to ‘get’ dances, in the room is in front of the bar at the back left side of the room, and the entrance fee is on par with everywhere else (see end). There’s a restaurant upstairs, and on Mondays and Tuesday nights there is Salsa there. The rest of the week, it’s all Tango baby. There are classes nearly every night of the week, for different levels.

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The ‘Connection’ Fallacy

November 17, 2016 No Comments

“Connection” is a wonderful idea. We like to believe in the romanticism of this word, and all that it implies, which is as it turns out a considerable amount. However, the word itself, from a Tango perspective, has been beat up and bruised that it more than likely has lost it’s original intent. When you say the word to someone it could mean any one of eight (8) different things as it relates to the dance. However, this is not a definition of the word, for that please see the Tango Topics Definition of the word "Connection". 


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The Tango Haus

August 31, 2017 No Comments

What’s below is a small snippet of 13m:06s audio podcast of Today’s Topic on the benefits and detractors of building community using the idea of a Tango House. “What I refer to as the Tango ‘Haus’ idea. In this case this is the German spelling of ‘HAUS’. I just like the way it sounds. But we can use the American spelling of ‘House’. So a few years back and I may be bastardizing some history here. There was a tango house, and I’m not going to name the city, that grew up out of a U.S. based city. This community, at the time had a number of teachers in its area, and they were all using the typical model of how they wanted their students to learn to dance.

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Practice (Part 8)

May 11, 2017 No Comments

The question of what to practice for most dancers is really simple. The belief is that you should practice ‘dancing’. And this is not always the case. To be fair, while Tango does require a neurological adjustment on multiple levels which can only be attained from actual dancing – this is called ‘the neurology of dancing’, this is a given. However, in order to get to that place where refinements can actually occur in one’s dance, one has to practice, and that practice is not, so that we’re clear, with a partner, it is individually or solo practice.

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Magical Improvement

February 25, 2017 No Comments

“She’s not magically going to improve just because you ‘show’ her what she’s supposed to do at that moment.” To make this non gender specific, because this axiom applies to both genders, and both roles. As well as teachers and students. Some teachers know this truth, some teachers learn it the hard way. Clarity: The – “supposed to do” part above. This idea frequently occurs where you have a male Lead that has an expectation of X being followed properly, where X is Traveling Ochos, Volcada, Milonguero Turn, etc. And when it doesn’t they stop their dancing and then show the Follower what was intended. And here’s the magical part, they keep showing them, hoping that it will change the Follower’s behavior and frequently it doesn’t.

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The Follower’s Work

February 15, 2017 No Comments

The Follower’s Work. These words may come as a surprise to you dear reader considering that this page has seemingly ‘bashed’ or disparaged the role of the Follow in any number of ways, however: The role of the Follower is work. This is by no means a complete list, but just a taste: A Follower must master in order to ‘dance’ with a particular Lead their stability, their walk backwards, and forwards to the side without wobbling.

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Floorcraft

December 4, 2016 No Comments

What is Floorcraft ? In it’s simplest form, as there layers and layers to this stuff, it is how to navigate the floor while dancing with your partner and not hitting the couples ahead, or behind you. As well as not touching the tables, and chairs. All the while interpreting the music, concurrently interpreting the beat and the musical pauses to fit the tango vocabulary while maintaining the spacing between the couples.

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Tango Accents

January 20, 2017 No Comments

You may not realize this but you have an accent. The place that you live in, the people that you dance with, the teachers that you have studied with, and last but not least, the variation of those ideas from the original, creates a local tango ‘accent’. Every city where Tango is danced has an accent which is specific to that place and to that place alone. Boston, San Francisco, Paris, London, Berlin, Moscow, etc. They all have one, up to and including Buenos Aires, especially Buenos Aires! The difference between your local flavor of Tango and say Boston, Paris, and London, is like night and day within a spectrum of ideas.

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The Male Follower

June 26, 2017 No Comments

This post isn’t about the benefits of Following for the Male that dances, of which there are many, such as hyper awareness of all the things you do not want to do. No. Nor is this post about dancing in heels (which can be quite educational on many, many levels), nor the benefits of actually doing that work. Nor is this post about the simple fact that some men do enjoy Following quite a bit (the author included) and are actually (contrary to what you might believe) pretty good at it. No. Today’s Tango Thought is all about Men That WANT to Follow and some pointers that you want to think about doing.

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Musicality Vs. Interpretation

February 28, 2017 No Comments

Welcome to the Department of the Obvious Department. Today’s menu of the Obvious includes: Men not asking for directions when lost, Men over talking Women, Men squeezing the living daylights out of their partners, and last but not least the Age of a Man has nothing to do with his ability to get dances!

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You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

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