Couples

Couples, as a pair, develop their own shorthand for communicating with each other. They remark on events in their time together as ‘that time we did that thing when that thing happened, remember ?’. They invest their emotional time in each other as caring, loving (hopefully), partners that genuinely are invested in each other’s successes (hopefully). In one respect they are to each other intimates, while at the same time they see each other as support mechanisms, and so much more. 

Enter Argentine Tango. 

Unlike other social dances where you’re learning steps, patterns, figures that comprise the dance, usually from a ballroom, swing, or salsa based perspective. Tango boils itself down to a movement study of intricate complexities and minutae. Yes there are the 7 base ideas that one has to learn (forward, side, back, embraceochosturns, and crosses), but that just scratches the surface. It’s far more than that as most people discover. There are the ‘moves’ of Tango and then there is dancing Tango and one very rarely matches the other. It is the never ending onion of layer after layer after layer of further, deeper levels of technique, music, and history, all rolled into one. It’s intellectual, while at the same time, very personal. It’s kinesthetic, while at the same time, insanely musical. It’s intimate while at the same time being very social. Those first few steps that most people take is the realization that their not going to look elegant, at all, and most certainly not like what their teachers look like. Those people eventually succeed with the dance because of that perspective, it allows for lots of honesty and growth potential. Now add to the fact that Tango brings up someone’s issues, personal and physical in a myriad of different ways that is wholly unexpected. Tango magnifies those issues, and brings them to the forefront, as it mirrors life in so many ways. You can not hide anything on a social dance floor, it’s all there for anyone to see. And that’s just on a personal or individual level. 

Enter The Couple That Studies Together. 

You can see where this is going, right ? You have two people that have spent oodles of time together. They eat together, sleep together, watch TV together. One snores while the other tries not to pay attention. One chews too loud while the other puts on music to mask the annoyance. One has their head buried in their phone, while the other wonders who they fell for to begin with at times. They come to understand each other (hopefully). Their way of talking with each other is at once direct, and then again, not direct. This is the ‘short hand’ communication referenced above. And then ‘BAM’, Tango happens. 

If there were/are areas of concern in the relationship, insecurities, grievances, issues, behaviors that weren’t resolved by the time that they found Tango, all of those things will come out in the educational process, and they’ll certainly come out in the Social Dancing process. They’ll be magnified. And sometimes, not always, but sometimes that magnification process, of feeling the pressure to have fun, while at the same time trying to succeed with the dance can be very stressful on the relationship. Stressful to a breaking point, where one, not both, will eventually give up Tango for the sake of the relationship. It’s just too much.

The proverbial ‘Pink’ Elephant in the room. At the heart of any romantic relationship, especially the monogamous ones, is the belief, and really the trust that your romantic partner is going to be ‘faithful’ to you. Now add Argentine Tango into the equation and you can connect the dots on this one. Seeing a romantic partner in the arms of someone else, and then watching their face enjoying someone else that is not their intended, is hard for some people, not all, but some. Some people can detach from it and see Tango as just what it is, a movement. Some people place real, or imagined, but definitely projected insecurities into what might be very harmless fun. The ‘Pink’ Elephant in the room is the insecurity that has occurred. It’s there. You honestly can’t get away from it. You wouldn’t be human if you did. The insecurity is a fleeting thought that not only is like relatives that come for a Saturday afternoon bbq and end up staying for a week or so, but is right there in their face: Someone else is with your romantic partner in a, seemingly, intimate embrace. That’s the ‘Pink’ Elephant in the room. 

To be fair, this particular Tango Thought is not indicative of every romantic partnership that comes to Tango. It only covers a slice of the spectrum. Like for instance, it doesn’t talk about those romantic relationships that develop because of Tango or the opposite, in spite of Tango. Nor does it take into account those romantic partnerships that have succeeded in Tango without any of the ‘Pink’ Elephants. Nor does it talk about same gendered couples, or opposite aged and opposite gendered couples, nor teacher/student couple dynamics, all of which have their own very specific issues. This is particular thought only covers one slice of the full spectrum

MORE REMINDERS

The Follower’s Work

The Follower’s Work. These words may come as a surprise to you dear reader considering that this page has seemingly ‘bashed’ or disparaged the role of the Follow in any number of ways, however: The role of the Follower is work. This is by no means a complete list, but just a taste: A Follower must master in order to ‘dance’ with a particular Lead their stability, their walk backwards, and forwards to the side without wobbling.

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Cake!

Should you eat before, or after a milonga, or not at all ? Some people say “before, so that you don’t get hungry during the milonga”. But then they complain that they can’t move as freely. Some people say “After! Because I’ll be ravenous”. But then these same people quite factually ‘grumble’ (meaning their stomachs are growling because they’re hungry) while they dance with you. Some people are in the ‘not’ at all category! They can seemingly contain their exertion and not require sustenance before, during, and after a milonga.

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The ‘High Season’ in Buenos Aires

What is the "High Season" in Buenos Aires ? It’s the period of time between December 15th and March 15th when several things happen all at once. 1.) It’s INSANELY HOT. It should be noted that sometimes this is called the ‘hot’ season. 2.) The traveling teachers return home to practice, and to build new routines. 3.) There’s a lot of tango touristas (you). 4.) There’s a lot of seminarios that happen. 5.) Did we mention there’s a lot of people ?

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Toe vs. Heel (Follower) ?

In case you have been living under a rock, this Thought is going to shock you somewhat. There is a debate that has been raging for quite some time now. The debate ? Should the Follower step forward with their heel first, or their toe first ? Better known as the Heel or Toe debate only for Followers, not for Leads as is the usual debated topic.

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Learning Castellano

Learning to speak and write in Spanish can be lots of fun. Doing so can really force you to understand that your own language is really wacky, that it is fully of colloquial phrases that when translated is a literal mess of confusion, and furthermore forces you to really start looking at your own culture and choices. However when it comes to Argentine Tango, and ultimately going to Buenos Aires, the question comes up … “Do you really need to learn to speak Spanish ?”

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Follower Bashing

All too often a good portion of Followers get the short end of the stick as it were. They’re blamed for missing this or that, not having enough resistance (a major no-no), not pushing, not leaning enough (false apilodo another major no-no), not stepping in the right place, not keeping up with the lead, etc. They’re blamed for a host of things from walking, to musical interpretation. After a while they develop a complex of just taking responsibility for almost everything that happens that isn’t desirable in the dance, instead of the Lead taking rightful responsibility for what’s been led! This is known as ‘Bashing The Follower’.

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The Powerful Follower

What is a Powerful Follower ? A Follower that has first and foremost a.) the force of the Follower’s muscles (legs – quads & glutes specifically) engaging with acceleration, power, and strength….

Read More »

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancingWhereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

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