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The Blame Game

The dance starts out on an even footing. It’s quite clear two steps later that one of you is clearly better than the other. Usually the Lead believes that they’re all that, and the Follower is just trying to survive the compressive embrace, let alone actually dance. In reality…well let’s just say that no one is perfect and leave it at that, shall we ?

The fact is that regardless of which role we dance we have a tendency towards blaming our partners for our foibles. We don’t like to admit that we screw up in life, and in tango nearly all screw ups are the fault of the lead. Nearly. There is really only one instance under which the lead is not responsible. And it happens when the Follower makes a different choice than what was intended. To be clearer, a Follower can mishear/misread what was led, but if they’re being honest, then they can rightfully abdicate responsibility for X, Y, and Z because it was ‘led’. However, that’s not an entirely accurate summation because it leaves out of the equation the role of the Active Follower and deliberately making choices that may not be what was intended but end up being so much more of an egalitarian experience to the point where the ideas of traditional lead and follow blend and merge and you’re not really certain who’s leading or following whom. 😉

Blame on the other hand, happens quite frequently, which usually goes like this: Lead/er ‘suggests’ X (1), Follow tries to initiate X, Follower mishears/misreads X (2), Lead stumbles in the execution of X because the Follower executed the wrong thing or is not where they’re supposed to be, Blame ensues, and then here’s the kicker – The Follower Apologizes for what they were led to do!

Notation 1: That ‘suggestion’ is usually vague as the day is long. Meaning that said ‘lead’ (the action) is not as clear and direct as it could be, usually said lead (the action) is stopped or incomplete half way through the intention to do such. And as a result the Follower is unclear as to what they’re supposed to be doing and thereby must ‘infer’.

Notation 2: The Follower has to infer a great amount from an unclear lead. This happens quite frequently, and more so than we would like. 🙁

As a result, the Blame Game ensues, round and round we go.

There is a way out of the Game. Several really. One of them is to recognize that you’re not all that, and that you’re human, and that you make mistakes – frequently. Accept responsibility for those mistakes and move on.

MORE REMINDERS

Spectrum of Ideas.

December 31, 2016 No Comments

Because there are no ‘Standards & Practices’ in Tango, therefore ‘Right’/’Wrong’ are subjective, which are for the most part, based on your teacher’s point of view of how things should be done. And as a result you, the unwitting student, take one those ideas as your own because you believe that because X is teaching that they must be the soul of all wisdom. Very infrequently do tango teachers teach a fair and balanced, or well rounded point of view. They usually teach what their subscribe to in their Tango world view, what they agree with, and what their teacher showed them. Very infrequently will they teach something that is outside that world view.

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On My Balance

April 17, 2017 No Comments

Frequently with Argentine Tango we use language that we think is descriptive of what we’re doing but in actual fact is either not that or so far from the mark it is more confusing than anything else. Before we go any further, it is possible that in reading this that you may not see the issue at all. That you know what the speaker meant, and that’s the important part, right. Wrong. That’s the problem right there. The inference. If you have to infer that X or Y is occurring then there’s far too much ‘wiggle’ room for errors in understanding to crop up.

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Head Tilt

November 30, 2016 No Comments

The tilt or position of one’s head (for lead or follow) is far more important than you might imagine. First and foremost, where the head points the body tends to follow. There’s a reason for this, your equilibrium, contrary to popular belief your balance is not generated in the center of your belly. This ‘myth’ is better known and often repeated as to indicate your ‘core’ muscles. This is a lie.

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More Classes

March 11, 2017 No Comments

At some point along the curve of your tango life, continuing to take classes seems like a really stupid idea. You’ve learned everything you need to know to get around the floor. Practice isn’t really that important any longer. And going to Milongas is really the important part, so who needs to practice ?

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The Negative of Tango

May 1, 2017 No Comments

There is distinct negative side to Tango. Ask anyone that has done any level of work to improve their dance, and they’ll tell you that it is at once eye opening, again blistering, noxious and wholly demoralizing. Demoralizing to the point where they want to quit dancing altogether.

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Going to El Corte ?

January 25, 2017 No Comments

The words "El Corte" translated to English from Spanish literally means ‘Cut, Court, or Edge’. However, in the Tango world the word has another meaning: Nijmegen, The Netherlands. What’s in/at Nijmegen ? A dance studio of certain renown: El Corte! Think of El Corte as one of your GoTo destinations. Assuming you want to experience a quality of dance in an environment that is at once fun, and at the same time entirely engaging on multiple levels. Caveat: You do need to have your sh*t together if you visit, while at the same time you must be willing and open to a whole different way of looking at the dance (again, on multiple levels).

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Discipline

October 24, 2016 No Comments

Ballet dancers know all too well that a good dance teacher is strict, hard as a nails, and won’t let you get away with anything. While it may be hard on the body, and hard on the ego, the fact is that dance teachers like that are a godsend. However, the teacher is only one component to the educational process.

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Age (Women)

January 15, 2017 No Comments

The fact is that the younger and prettier you are, the more physically attractive you are, the more likely you are to get dances. That’s fact. I mean we’re dealing with ‘men’ here so … well do the math! However just because said younger and prettier girl gets the dance does not necessarily mean that said Follower will keep it. A good number of better leads, will actually over look said younger and prettier girl because they know that said Follower can barely walk, turn, embrace, or for that matter breathe properly. That is, unfortunately, only about 10-20% of the available L/leads in the room.

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