‘Mirada’ comes from the Spanish verb ‘Mirar’ which means ‘to look’. However, because it’s a verb, it has tenses. And as such, that ‘ada’ ending in Spanish is very similar to the ‘ed’ ending in English. So when you put these two ideas together you get ‘LOOKED’.
Mirada is the preferred method of a FOLLOWER indicating to a Lead that they are available for a dance. Note what we said there > they are AVAILABLE for a dance. They’re not asking for a dance. They’re simply making said Lead aware that if the Lead wanted to dance with them, that they’re now available.
In some circles these days, that little bit of language above tends to ruffle some feathers, and the reason is that it’s gender biased. Or put another way, the language indicates that it is inappropriate for a woman to ask for a dance if she wants one. The reality is that Tango has many anachronistic beliefs and practices, this is one of them.
In days gone by women were not even allowed to dance with other men that were not their husbands. However, in the late night milongas of the 30’s and 40’s of the last century, when there were unmatched singles, how did a woman indicate that she was available to dance ? She engaged in this practice of Mirada. It was an acceptable form, albeit quite risqué for the time period. Very risqué. A woman being forward ? HA! HERESY! SCANDAL! BURN HER! SHE’S A WITCH!!! ahem.
In today’s Tango world, the idea above is still with us to a greater extent, but the mentality has been laxed. However, in certain circles, at certain Milongas in the world, it is the only accepted way to indicate your availabilty. FYI: There are some Milongas where doing anything else will get you a warning and then you’ll get tossed out. So where does that leave us ?
Here’s what we recommend for Mirada at our Milonga:
Step 1.) Make eye contact with a Lead that is NOT dancing. If they’re dancing, wait until they are OFF the dance floor. Otherwise making eyes at a Lead that is dancing with someone else is a bit like stealing someone else’s date. Not a good idea or a good look. Don’t go there.
Step 2.) When you make eye contact, hold it until they see you, and acknowledge you. THIS is MIRADA! (the only thing that’s missing here is the head nod – the Cabeceo itself.
Step 3.) This next bit is extremely important — Do NOT get up or move from the spot you are in. Do not go to the Lead at all. Stay where you are, and let them COME TO YOU. Stay seated even until they extend their hand to you. Do not move until they do. This is to prevent your own mistake if the Lead has cabeceo’d someone next to you! Which has happened to both of us and can be quite embarrassing.
Other than that, enjoy your evening.
Please look at our ‘Cabeceo‘ entry.
