There’s that row of men that stand at every milonga. They hover. They waver from side to side. They stand with their arms crossed. All by themselves. They never sit, and they seemingly never dance. There’s usually a row of them, more than 3 or 4. And no matter what happens, you almost never see them dance. There’s a reason for that. It’s because a good portion of the better Followers in the room has had a less than desirable experience with them.
To be fair they could be standing all in a row because: They’re hot and cooling off (Possible). There is no one they like to dance with (Possible). They can cabeceo better from a standing position (Possible). They’re enjoying a moment of solitude that lasts for 3 or 4 hrs at a Milonga (Ummm). They enjoy holding up a wall or two (Not!). They like the atmosphere (Seriously ?).
As snobby and elitist as this sounds, there are some good reasons why they’re standing, and not engaging in the social atmosphere, and/or dancing. 1.) Only the uninformed, uninitiated, and ignorant are dancing with them. 2.) One word for you ‘Creepy’. Read that as lacking clear boundaries. 3.) They reek! The odor is quite palpable, and no one has bothered to explain it to them. 4.) Quite possibly they’ve stepped on enough feet that women (thankfully) are refusing their cabeceo on a regular basis. 5.) Their Floorcraft execution is less than desirable. 6.) Their choice of the same vocabulary over and over and over again, plus the pushing, the pulling, the looking at the Follower’s feet the entire time, while not coming anywhere close to a beat is rather off putting.
To be fair to the socially ignorant, there is a very small sliver of the male tango populace that has a real hard time with engaging in a social dynamic. They’re put off and overwhelmed by X, Y, and Z, and quite honestly don’t know how and what to do with it all. And the dancing part ? Is just waaaay over their heads. Everyone else seems to be having fun, but these guys are completely lost.
To be clear, this thought is not Lead Bashing, not by any stretch of the imagination. Why ? Because this topic only pointing out one tiny aspect of what’s going on for that 5% of the room that engages in this practice of being slightly antisocial, which oddly enough, just so happens to coincide with less than desirable dancing (usually).
Quite honestly these men could become lovely leads, if 2 things were true, which invariably they won’t be unless: 1.) Someone invests a little time in them to inform them of the 6 things above. and 2.) They invest in themselves with private lessons, and stop pulling, pushing, squeezing, compressing, and teaching their followers at a milonga especially when they’re not professional teachers! #SocialTango #SocialDance #ArgentineTango #TangoDancing