Tango Topics | Exploring Your Dance

Today’s #Tango Truth 067:  The Row of Women That Sit

They’re at every milonga in the world (with an exception or two – Russia & Asia). Every. Milonga. THAT row of women, of a certain age, and a certain disposition, that for a few valid reasons (pretty or not) who are sitting, and not by choice. Most have been sitting for more than an hour or two.

There’s a list of possible reasons why they’re sitting: Age (Very Likely). Tango ‘Baggage’ (Very Likely – See Vol 3. Truism 1148). 2nd Glass of Red Wine (Likely). They’re tired (Possible). There aren’t enough men (Possible). They’re not interested (Possible). They’re talking with girlfriends (Possible). They’re placed, depending on the milonga, sitting next to one another (Possible). They like sitting together, all in a row (Ummm…). The chair is very comfortable (Seriously ?). The atmosphere is lovely (Oh come on!). The music is delightful and they just want to tap their foot to it (ok that’s it, out!). Bullshit.

There is however an underlying reason why these women sit, on a regular basis, it’s because they have ‘issues’.

The issues ? So that we’re clear about what’s about to be said, this is not Follower Bashing in any way, shape, or form. It’s stating fact so that you, gentle reader, understand what will come later. These issues are as follows, but are not limited to: They waver. They’re highly unstable. They push. They pull. They hang! Their left bicep is crushing their lead’s right arm with their weight, or the lead’s shoulder, or along the shoulder line. They’re slow. Lethargic. Sloth like in their execution. They fumble their footwork (unconsciously dangly feet). They hold on for dear life. Again dear reader, this is not Follower Bashing. It’s stating fact as witnessed.

Before you go any further: DO NOT BELIEVE for an instant, under any level of delusion that you may harbor, that the Lead does not have  issues. They do. As evidenced here, here. here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here just to name a few. This page is an equal opportunity teller of truth. Neither role is safe from pointing the finger of less than desirable. Are we clear ? 🙂 Good.

That said….

These Followers are sitting for long lengths of time because… ? Nearly every Lead in the room has had an experience with them (note the underlying reasons above) that is in some way, shape, or form, a conglomeration of those ‘issues’ laid out previously, and generally once a L/lead has an experience like that, that Lead never asks for a 2nd tanda again.

This creates the row of women that sit.

The Tango Topics Opinion.

There are 4 options for the Row of Women that sit:

1.) Continue to sit.
2.) Learn to Lead. Which means changing your shoes, and then find a follower to dance with! 
3.) Go home. That solves nothing except to assuage the immediacy of the problem. 
4.) Private Lessons. 

Let’s talk about that last option: Private Lessons. Let’s assume for the moment that you decide that a private lesson a week will help. It won’t. Because you have issues the size of montana (instability, hanging, pulling, pushing, micro compressions, compression, squeezing, lack of kinesthetic awareness, just to name a few). But let’s assume for the moment that you believe that a SINGULAR PRIVATE LESSON will address your issues. That’s 1 hour per week. It’s not enough. That said private lessons are going to take a while, a long while to address your issues. #SocialTango #SocialDance #ArgentineTango #TangoDancing

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