The Singular Private Lesson

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It’s been a hot minute since you last danced. You’re thinking to yourself that a private lesson will tune you up. You find your fav. Teacher, and figure out a time and place for your session. You finally meet up, hug, kiss (on the cheek), then pick a piece of music, and you’re off. Then there’s dancing around the room for a few minutes, a few reminders here and there about what you’re doing. And then the hour is up. You thank them, pay up, and then leave. Happier in the knowledge that you’re not a complete EFF up.

Hmmm, there’s just ONE leeetle tiny problem with this scenario. A SINGULAR PRIVATE LESSON WILL DO NOTHING FOR YOU. Absolutely Effing Nothing. Read that again several times until it sinks in.

Reality Check: A Singular Private Lesson will not change what you’re doing or how. It only serves ONE purpose, and that s to put money in the pocket of the teacher. Cynical ? Yes. Truth ? Yup. A Singular Private lesson will not change what you’re doing at all. The reason is that the human brain takes time to absorb kinesthetic information. Unless you are a trained ballerina, then this stuff will take a few sessions and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of verbal, visual, more verbal, textual, lots more verbal, a lot of visual reminders for it to sink in that Oh yeah I’m doing that and I need to do something else that’s more desirable .

More Reality: Anything that was said in the lesson, you will not retain any of it. 2 minutes after you leave the room: Because you haven’t recorded the audio OR video’d the session, you will forget, misremember and/or both of what was said and what to do. The older you get, no matter how ‘good’ you are, you will contort your memory to fit the experience. Wait! It gets worse > Depending on the teacher (and there’s a lot of these out there) that teach steps, patterns, and figures that will blow smoke up your ass telling you that you’re fine when in fact you’re not. When you combine all that, do you know what you just did ? 1.) You put money into someone else’s pocket for their benefit. 2.) You haven’t learned a goddamned thing. And 3.) You have wasted your time. Well wasn’t that fun ?

I’ll say this for those of you in the back that are still listening and want to believe that your teacher is doing right by you > THE SKILL TO TEACH and the SKILL TO DANCE and the SKILL TO TEACH DANCE are THREE VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. DO NOT CONFLATE THESE THINGS. Most people do. They see a couple performing at a Milonga and then they believe that those dancers know how to teach what you see them doing. The reality is that they don t. They speak in language that is lacking detail and or of any kind of kinesthetic clarity. Specifically what muscles are being used and how. Further they are speaking/thinking that the ‘core’ muscles are doing all the damned work, when they aren’t. But you don t know that, and neither do they. But that’s the lie that is propagated. FREQUENTLY.

Now back to the Private Lesson Lie…sorry…The Singular Private Lesson.

The reality is that one off private lessons are useless and huge waste of your time. What’s required is a constant series of private lessons. What’s required is a detailed series of foundational lessons on how to extend your legs, how to place your foot on the floor, how to walk without a partner, how to embrace with a partner and without one, how to correct your stability issues, how to hear the music – beyond the 8 count beat methodology, and finally how to engage the vocabulary that is expected of you and how to modify that to your benefit.

Don’t be fooled into thinking or believing that a reminder here and there will fix all of the above. It won’t. Not even close. Most of what I just described, in high level language, takes at minimum 6 weeks – 3 days a week. And that’s just to get you into the ballpark where the game is being played. You’re not even in the line up yet! Which is to say that it’s going to take a few lessons over a period of time to help you to improve your experience.

Further what you want is a series of lessons that uses clear, direct descriptive language that showcases what each muscle is doing, how and where. Where the motion is generated and how. Do not believe statements like “move from the hip”, “on your axis”, “embrace your partner”. Instead start asking DETAILED questions when that language is used like > “Exactly how and where is the hip involved in me moving ? Is it the leg that is moving or is it something else. And if so, where is that motion being generated from specifically ? Please be detailed and specific in your response. Can you show me on my body, which muscles are being engaged and where you feel that happening ?”. Do you see how to ask the question now ?

More reality > What’s needed in order to improve is a teacher that will not blow smoke up your ass. At the same time, you need to be honest with yourself and treat this like Russian bootcamp > “I sucked yesterday, I sucked today, and I m going to suck tomorrow. Best to get to work!”. Do not lie and deceive yourself into thinking that all is well when it’s not. You’re unstable, you push, pull, squeeze, compress, and hang! And that’s all before you take a single step! Don’t believe the dancers around you at this point telling you that you’re doing just fine. The reality is that most of those dancers have compromising issues but you don’t know that.

Side Bar: Don’t believe me. Keep doing the same thing while expecting different results. You’ll keep going down the same pathways thinking that things will change. When in fact they won’t. Will you finally hear me when I say these things ?

Further down the rabbit hole > Find a teacher that speaks the way I detailed above. Find a teacher that will put in the time, regardless of the session clock, to help you to see different.

Side Bar: There is a difference in the teacher that is ‘on-the-clock’, and one that actually gives a rat’s EFF about your development beyond the session. They fill you up with links, information, their writings, videos, and details about what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Do they video you in each session ? Do they point out your issues beyond working with a mirror ? Do they show you specifically when, where, and how you’re being less than optimal via video without them in the equation ? You on your own ? If not, then you’re wasting money. Do not make excuses for teachers that phone-it-in and don’t do this. It’s your money, why are you accepting less than that ? In this day and age, with the resources that are available, why are you accepting watching what happens in a mirror as valid feedback ? Seriously ? WTaF ?

Much More Reality > You also have a role here and that’s MULTIPLE PRIVATE LESSONS. A Course of study! Think 20 or so. If by the 10th lesson you haven’t seen stark improvement in your awareness and clarity from the dancers that you were dancing with, then you have to look at your wallet and ask, “Am I getting my monies worth ?”. If the answer isn’t forth coming, find a teacher that will do that.

A Factoid. Some teachers … of which I am not one … will make you look and sound like them. My goal has always been to give you a piece of me, so that you that you have the ability to find yourself later on. This is a matter of learning the rules, so that you can break them, and then create your own that conform to the space and the music. Most teachers want to keep you coming back over and over and over again. Me ? I don’t want you as a student! I want you gone. I want you out social dancing. And the sooner, the better. This is not a healthy business model but it is what I strive for. I don’t want students. I want a healthy dance floor that does not need me and what I offer. My fondest wish is to walk into a Milonga, dance a tanda, and then to leave knowing that I am NOT needed.

Lastly, time for pay for the soup kiddies. If you find this stuff useful, scroll down and subscribe and help a brotha out. I need 60 ppl signed up for the year at the premium level. Further if you’re anywhere in Europe, I’m available for lessons. Understand that a single private lesson will do absolutely nothing for you. I am a good teacher. I will show you what errors you’re generating. However, in order to change them, you will need constant reminders (think 20 sessions at minimum). Also if you’re in Berlin, passing thru Berlin, or anywhere near Berlin, let’s hook up. I lead and follow. Let’s do this thing baby!

Have a nice day.

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancingWhereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

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