What is ‘Lead Tango Finger’ ? It’s where the Lead sticks out their Left Hand Index Finger and points with it. This is their ‘Hand Embrace’. There’s also a version of this where it’s Lead Gun Hand. But that’s another post.
We are all guilty of this one at some point in time. While some of us do eventually learn that this isn’t exactly a good look from a Leading perspective. Some don’t get the message. To be fair some of us do this because they don’t know any better. Some because they’ve forgotten. And some just don’t care.
The hand-embrace is yet another iconic visual aspect of Argentine Tango. Most Leads, when you point this out to them (no pun intended), that they’re doing Lead Tango Finger, will ‘close’ or wrap their finger around their Follower’s hand. This lasts for about 10, maybe, 12 seconds. And then slowly, but certainly, especially because they’re fearful of what’s happening around them, or because it’s their default, or because of what they’re doing, POOF! It comes right back with a vengeance! And then the feedback to stop is completely forgotten. I used to say to my students > “FOUR STEPS LATER”. And you could literally count it out. And on the 4th step, BAM, they’re right back to their default behavior. Every Follower knows this. They can give a Lead feedback that their embrace is compressive and uncomfortable, but 4 steps later, BAM! SQUEEZE!
Lead Tango Finger is one of a hundred or so reminders for a Lead that goes in one ear and out the other. It takes conscious effort to stop doing it, along with the hundred other things.
Let’s be clear about something, this ‘Lead Tango Finger’ business doesn’t sound that bad. And honestly speaking, it isn’t. At the same time, as you’re sitting there rolling your eyes at Miles nitpicking yet another thing that he doesn’t like, it should be noted this isn’t a Miles Thing. It’s a Tango thing that disrupts the iconic visual of the Lead’s Hand Embrace to the Follower’s. Let’s put this moniker of ‘Lead Tango Finger’ aside for a moment. There is a larger issue here that you may not see the connective tissue on which is going on FOR BOTH PARTNERS.
So with your further indulgence of my nitpicking > First we’ll discuss the Lead, and then we’ll get into the Follower’s side of this equation. And then touch on the Role of the Active Follower here, as it can and does play a mitigating role here.
From a Leading Perspective, the larger issue is that this Lead is holding tension in their fingers, their hands, their arms, their shoulders. And what’s worse, is that they don’t realize they’re doing it. Tension ? WTF does that even mean ? It means that their muscles and tendons are tense, like metal bands and they’re unaware of it. I shot a video in this stuff ages ago, several actually…
Tension, of course, is NOT required anywhere, but in this instance a.) No one has complained or pointed it out to them, so who cares, right ? b.) There is a distinct LACK of physicality awareness going on. Speaking to the latter of those, this physical tension extends right thru everything they’re doing. And as a matter of historical fact it extends thru their walk, their embrace, their choice of vocabulary. 9 times out of 10, this is also an indicator of COMPRESSION in the embrace. They tend to go hand in hand – again, no pun intended. IF you see one, you can bet there’s the other. Usually.
I know you think I’m being crazy here. The data I have speaks to this point that after 16+ years of teaching, I saw this day in and day out. Felt it. Oh and before you roll your eyes even further > There’s a reason WHY I am saying “LEAD” and NOT MEN! I know most of you were thinking MEN DO THIS, and they do, a lot. True. They do. However, this isn’t just men. It’s Female Leads too! Which is to say that it’s a people and a role thing, not a gender thing!
Now we get to the Follower’s side of this equation, there’s the Follower’s equivalent of this, and it’s ‘Follower Dainty Finger’. This is where the Follower sticks out their PINKY FINGER of their Left Hand on their Lead’s Upper Back and even over the Spinal Column. And again, the same thing is happening here > Tension, pure and simple, for exactly the same reasons as above. And again, they’re not aware of it! Remember this is NOT a gender or role thing, it’s a people thing! Both genders do this in either ROLE.
And lastly we talk about the Role of the Active Follower here, and rightfully we should also talk about its concurrent equivalent > The Active Lead. But that’s a horse of a different color for a different day. In both cases, the Role of the Active Follower tends to mitigate this stuff either by watching carefully and then NOT dancing with Leads that do this because they know there’s tension in the Lead’s embrace! Or if they do dance with a Lead by chance that does this, they will then lessen their own bodily tension everywhere. The Active Lead when they feel bodily tension in their Follower’s Embrace will do the same thing. Relax everything in themselves so as not to communicate that tension thru their own body which the Follower feels. The Active Follower does exactly the same thing.
Very early on in my own tango development I had this experience of a Follower literally calming me down, pulling me out of myself. I was so annoyed with my Follower that I almost snapped, when they said to me, whispered really, “Calmate Meelays, Calmate”. Which meant “Calm down Miles”. I’ve never forgotten that experience, and it literally formed the bedrock of everything else I did from that point forward.
That said, what can you do about it ? My normal advice is this cute comical line from the Jim Carey movie, “Liar! Liar”. He takes the phone from his secretary about one of his clients that needs to be bailed out of jail…again, and screams into the phone “STOP BREAKING THE LAW”.
Ahem. Comedy aside, the simplest of advice is to literally stop doing it. But unfortunately that will only last until your are not focusing on it anymore. Eg > FOUR STEPS LATER. The reality is that at the first sign of any disturbance in the line of dance, you will revert back to a.) Holding Tension in your body. b.) Lead Tango Finger/Follower Dainty Finger, and c.) Tension in your embrace! Which is to say just being aware of it will not change anything. It will take conscious effort to unlearn what you have taught yourself to do because it’s generally a fear response that’s become ingrained. So … ”Calmate”, start there. Next video yourself and your embrace, and continually reminder yourself to relax. EVERY FOUR STEPS!
Thanks for reading.
PS: You can stop rolling your eyes now.