The word ‘Cabeceo’ is properly pronounced as “CAH”-“BAH”-“SAY”-“OH”. It comes from the root Spanish word ‘Cabeza’ or ‘Head’ when translated to English.
Cabeceo means, in Argentine Tango parlance, a little nod of the head. Although truthfully it’s a bit more than that as you’ll see.
What does Cabeceo mean from a Tango perspective ? Simply put, it is the preferred method FOR A Lead to ASK a Follower to dance! Note that it is a LEAD asking the FOLLOWER to dance. If you’d like to understand the Follower’s side of the equation > Look at Mirada!
Before we go any further, there are several other references to Cabeceo and Mirada on this site that you may want to look at after this. First is a the definition of the word in our glossary of terms. Then there is a variation of this word to how you enter the Line of Dance. Then there’s the multiple videos of the things you don’t want to do with Cabeceo which are in a playlist on YouTube.
Typically what happens in most social dances is that a Lead gets up from their chair and walks across the floor to a potential dance partner, and then they extend their hand to indicate that they’d like to dance with that person.
There are a few things that are less than desirable about that scenario:
1.) Getting up from your chair! Why get up from your chair when you don’t have to ? What happens if by the time you get there, they’re already gone off with someone else ? Uuuuugh. There’s a more efficient and effective way to handle a social disaster like that.
2.) Walking across the dance floor. This is a no-no in Argentine Tango. We walk around the floor, not across it!
3.) Extending their hand to ask, it’s at this moment that embarrassment can happen. The Follower can say ‘No’. And at the point someone is going to look like they have egg on their face, which is to say that this could all be avoided.
Enter CABECEO to the rescue!
Cabeceo is the more refined way of asking for a dance from the comfort of your seat, and no one has to know that you are asking someone for a dance.
Here’s what you do as a Lead >
Step 1.) Look for a partner to dance with. If they are seated, wait until they glance in your direction. Don’t worry, they’ll be looking around the room for a dance, just like you are.
Step 2.) Make eye contact and hold it. This part is insanely important.
Step 3.) Nod your head forward or to the side just a bit. (this is Cabeceo right here)
Step 4.) Look for the response in your partner as a resulting head nod back.
Step 5.) You get up from your chair, then walk around the dance floor to your intended partner.
Step 6.) Go directly to your intended and extend your hand to guide them from their chair to the floor.
Here’s what you do as a Follower >
Step 1.) Look around the room.
Step 2.) If a Lead makes eye contact with you, and they nod toward you, you have an option to either nod back OR to LOOK AWAY. If you look away, you are saying that you do not want to dance with that partner at this time.
Step 3.) If you do nod back, here’s the important bit. STAY IN YOUR SEAT UNTIL the Lead comes to you specifically. Do NOT jump up from your chair. Do not get up at all. Stay seated until the Lead has extended their hand to you. Far too many times we have seen Followers make the mistake of thinking that a Cabeceo was for them, and only to realize that it was for the Follower seated next to them. Talk about AWKWARD!!!!
Cabeceo is the preferred method of asking for a dance, from a LEADING perspective. Following these simple steps can alleviate a lot of embarrassment for both parties. Especially if the Follower doesn’t want to dance with you!
Ok, so what about Followers ? What do they do ? Can they ask for a dance ? Yes, sort of. And that’s called ‘Mirada‘.
